I continued to regain my health slowly, and the Abbess said they would
soon send me back to the nursery. I could not endure the thought of
this, for I had the greatest fear of the Abbess who had the charge of
that department. She was very cruel, while St. Bridget was as kind
as she dare to be. She knew full well that if she allowed herself to
exhibit the least feeling of affection for those children, she would be
instantly removed, and some one placed over them who would not give way
to such weakness. We all saw how it was, and loved her all the more
for the severity of her reproofs when any one was near. With tears,
therefore, I begged to be allowed to stay with her; and when the priest
came for me, she told him that she thought I had better remain with her
till I gained a little more strength.
To this he consented, and I was very grateful indeed for the kindness.
Wishing in some way to express my gratitude, as soon as I was able I
assisted in taking care of the other little girls as much as possible.
St. Bridget, in turn, taught me to read a little, so that I could learn
my prayers when away from her. She also gave me a few easy lessons in
arithmetic, and instructed me to speak the Celt language. She always
spoke in that, or the French, which I could speak before, having learned
it from the family where I lived after my father gave up his saloon.
They were French Catholics and spoke no other language.
As soon as I was sufficiently recovered to leave my room, I was taken to
the chapel to be confirmed. Before they came for me, the abbess told me
what questions would be asked, and the answers I should be required
to give. She said they would ask me if I wished to see my father; if I
should like to go back to the world, etc. To these and similar questions
she said I must give a negative answer. "But," said I, "that will be a
falsehood, and I will not say so for any of them." "Hush, hush, child!"
she exclaimed, with a frightened look. "You must not talk so. From my
heart I pity you; but it will be better for you to answer as I tell
you, for if you refuse they will punish you till you do. Remember," she
added, emphatically, "remember what I say: it will be better for you
to do as I tell you." And she made me promise that I would. "But why do
they wish me to tell a lie?" I asked. "They do not wish you to tell a
lie," she replied; "they wish you to do right, and feel right; to be
contented and willing to forget the world." "But I do not wish to forget
the world," I said. "I am not contented, and saying that I am will not
make me feel so. Is it right to tell a lie?" "It is right for you to
obey," she replied, with more severity in her tone than I ever heard
before. "Do you know," she continued, "that it is a great sin for you
to talk so?" "A sin!" I exclaimed, in astonishment; "why is it a sin?"
"Because," she replied, "you have no right to inquire why a command
is given. Whatever the church commands, we must obey, and that, too,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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