While the nuns are thus severely treated, the priests, and the Holy
Mother live a very easy life, and have all the privileges they wish.
So far as the things of this world are concerned, they seem to enjoy
themselves very well. But I have sometimes wondered if conscience did
not give them occasionally, an unpleasant twinge; and from some things I
have seen, I believe, that with many of them, this is the fact. They may
try to put far from them all thoughts of a judgment to come, yet I
do believe that their slumbers are sometimes disturbed by fearful
forebodings of a just retribution which may, after all, be in store for
them. But whatever trouble of mind they may have, they do not allow it
to interfere with their worldly pleasures, and expensive luxuries. They
have money enough, go when, and where they please, eat the richest food
and drink the choicest wines. In short, if sensual enjoyment was
the chief end of their existence, I do not know how they could act
otherwise. The Abbesses are sometimes allowed to go out, but not unless
they have a pass from one of the priests, and if, at any time, they have
reason to suspect that some one is discontented, they will not allow any
one to go out of the building without a careful attendant.
My Superior here, as in the White Nunnery, was very kind to me. I
sometimes feared she would share the fate of Father Darity, for she had
a kind heart, and was guilty of many benevolent acts, which, if known,
would have subjected her to very serious consequences. I became so much
attached to her, that my fears for her were always alarmed when she
called me her good little girl, or used any such endearing expression.
The sequel of my story will show that my fears were not unfounded; but
let me not anticipate. Sorrows will thicken fast enough, if we do not
hasten them.
I lived with this Superior one year before I was consecrated, and it
was, comparatively, a happy season. I was never punished unless it was
to save me from less merciful hands; and then I would be shut up in a
closet, or some such simple thing. The other four girls who occupied the
room with me, were consecrated at the same time.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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