The next excitement in our little community was caused by the sickness
and death of our Superior. I do not know what her disease was, but she
was sick two weeks, and one of the nuns from the kitchen was sent to
take care of her. One night she was so much worse, the nun thought she
would die, and she began to torment her in the most inhuman manner. She
had been severely punished a short time before at the instigation of
this woman, and she then swore revenge if she ever found an opportunity.
Now it was presented. She was in her power, too weak to resist or call
for assistance, and she resolved to let her know by experience how
bitterly she had made others suffer in days gone by. It was a fiendish
spirit, undoubtedly, that prompted her to seek revenge upon the dying,
but what else could we expect? She only followed the example of her
elders, and if she went somewhat beyond their teachings, she had, as we
shall see, her reasons for so doing. With hot irons she burned her on
various parts of her person, cut great gashes in the flesh upon her
face, sides, and arms, and then rubbed salt and pepper into the wounds.
But I will not try to describe it.
The wretched woman died before morning, and the nun went to the priest
and told him that the Superior was dead, and that she had killed her.
The priests were immediately all called together, and the Bishop called
upon for counsel. He sentenced her to be hung that morning in the chapel
before the assembled household. The Abbess came and informed us what had
taken place, and directed us to get ready and go to the chapel. When we
entered, the doomed girl sat upon a chair on the altar. She was clad
in a white robe, with a white cap on her head, and appeared calm,
self-possessed, and even joyful. The Bishop asked her if she had
anything to say for herself. She immediately rose and said, "I have
killed the Superior, for which I am to be hung. I know that I deserve
to die, but I have suffered more than death many times over, from
punishments inflicted by her order. For many years my life has been one
of continual suffering; and for what? For just nothing at all, or for
the most simple things. Is it right, is it just to starve a person two
whole days for shutting the door a little too hard? or to burn one with
hot irons because a little water was accidentally spilt on the floor?
Yet for these and similar things I have again and again been tortured
within an inch of my life. Now that I am to be hung, I am glad of
it, for I shall die quick, and be out of my misery, instead of being
tortured to death by inches. I did this thing for this very purpose,
for I do not fear death nor anything that comes after it. Talk about
the existence of a God! I don't believe a word of it. And the story of
heaven and hell, purgatory, and the Virgin Mary; why, it's all a humbug,
like the rest of the vile stuff you call religion. Religion indeed!
You wont catch us nuns believing it, and more than all that, you don't
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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