attitude of prayer but he felt impelled to break off, almost as if some
one had been pulling him away; or, to mar his devotion, some ridiculous
object was sure to be presented to his fancy. It is not surprising that
he should have concluded that he was possessed by the devil; and it is
scarcely possible to peruse his own and similar recitals without the
forcible conviction that they are more than the mere workings of the
mind, either in its sane or its disordered state.
Only relieved by some glimpses of comfort, “which, like Peter’s sheet,
were of a sudden caught up from him into heaven again,” this horrible
darkness lasted no less than a year. The light which first stole in upon
it, and in which it finally melted away, was a clear discovery of the
person of Christ, more especially a distinct perception of the
dispositions which he manifested while here on earth. And one thing
greatly helped him. He alighted on a congenial mind, and an experience
almost identical with his own. From the emancipation which this new
acquaintance gave to his spirit, as well as the tone which he imparted to
Bunyan’s theology, we had best relate the incident in his own words.
“Before I had got thus far out of my temptations, I did greatly long to
see some ancient godly man’s experience, who had writ some hundreds of
years before I was born; for those who had writ in our days, I thought
(but I desire them now to pardon me) that they had writ only that which
others felt; or else had, through the strength of their wits and parts,
studied to answer such objections as they perceived others perplexed
with, without going down themselves into the deep. Well, after many such
longings in my mind, the God in whose hands are all our days and ways,
did cast into my hands one day a book of Martin Luther’s: it was his
Comment on the Galatians; it also was so old that it was ready to fall
piece from piece if I did but turn it over. Now I was pleased much that
such an old book had fallen into my hands; the which, when I had but a
little way perused, I found my condition in his experience so largely and
profoundly handled, as if his book had been written out of my heart.
This made me marvel: for thus, thought I, this man could not know
anything of the state of Christians now, but must needs write and speak
the experience of former days. Besides, he doth most gravely also, in
that book, debate of the sin of these temptations, namely, blasphemy,
desperation, and the like; shewing that the law of Moses, as well as the
devil, death, and hell, hath a very great hand therein: flee which, at
first, was very strange to me; but considering and watching, I found it
so indeed. But of particulars here I intend nothing; only this,
methinks, I must let fall before all men, I do prefer this book of Martin
Luther upon the Galatians—excepting the Holy Bible—before all the books
that ever I have seen, as most fit for a wounded conscience.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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