nations: for this festal banquet which was a memorial of life, and a
warning of death, the Disciples performed those humble menial tasks with
a new tenderness, with that pensive joy that almost brings tears.
With the setting of the sun, the other ten came with Jesus and placed
themselves around the table, now in readiness. All were silent as if
heavy-hearted with a presentiment which they were afraid to see
reflected in their companions’ eyes. They remembered the supper in
Simon’s house, almost funereal, the odor of the nard, the woman and her
endless weeping, and Christ’s words on that evening, and His words of
those last days; the repeated warnings of ignominy and of the end; the
signs of hatred increasing about them, and the indications, now very
plain, of the conspiracy, which with all its torches was about to come
out from the darkness.
But two of them—for opposite reasons—were more oppressed, more moved
than the others: the two for whom this was the last of their lives, the
two who were about to die: Christ and Judas, the one sold and the
seller; the Son of God and the abortion of Satan.
Judas had finished his bargain, he had the thirty pieces of silver on
his person wrapped tightly so that they would not clink. But he knew no
peace. The Enemy had entered into him, but perhaps the friend of Christ
was not yet dead in his heart. To see Him there in the midst of His
friends, calm but with the pensive expression of the man who is the only
one who knows a secret, who is aware of a crime, a betrayal; to see Him,
still at liberty in the company of those who loved Him, still alive, all
the blood still in His veins under the delicate protection of the
skin—and yet those bargainers who had paid the price refused to wait any
longer, the affair was arranged for that very night!—and they were only
waiting for Judas to act. But suppose Jesus, who must know all, had
denounced him to the eleven? And suppose they, to save their Master, had
thrown themselves on Judas to bind him, perhaps to kill him? Judas began
to feel that to betray Christ to His death was perhaps not enough to
save himself from the death, which he so greatly feared and yet which
was near upon him.
All these thoughts darkened his somber face, more and more blackly, and
at times terrified him. While the more active ones busied themselves
with the last arrangements for serving the supper, he looked furtively
at the eyes of Jesus—clear eyes scarcely veiled with the loving sadness
of parting—as if to read there the revocation of his fate, so close at
hand. Jesus broke the silence: “With desire I have desired to eat this
Passover with you before I suffer: For I say unto you, I will not any
more eat thereof, until it be fulfilled in the kingdom of God.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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