As the time approaches for his parting from all he holds dear,
especially the beloved L., our hearts go out to him in irrepressible
sympathy. He writes, "parted with L. forever in this life with a sort
of uncertain pain which I know will increase to greater violence."
And these forebodings were but too soon realized. For many succeeding
days his mental agony was extreme, yet he could speak to God as one
who knew the great conflict within him. Yet while the waves and
billows are going over him he writes from these depths, "I never had
so clear a conviction of my call as at the present. Never did I see so
much the exceeding excellency and glory and sweetness of the work, nor
had so much the favorable testimony of my own conscience, nor
perceived so plainly the smile of God. Blessed be God, I feel myself
to be His minister. This thought which I can hardly describe came in
the morning after reading Brainerd. I wish for no service but the
service of God, to labor for souls on earth and to do His will in
heaven."
LIFE IN INDIA.
On the 17th of July, 1805, the Union East Indiaman conveying Mr.
Martyn sailed from Portsmouth. Mr. Martyn says: "Though it was what I
had been anxiously looking forward to so long, yet the consideration
of being parted forever from my friends, almost overcame me. My
feelings were those of a man who should suddenly be told that every
friend he had in the world was dead."
Though suffering much in mind and body throughout the long and tedious
voyage of nine months, Mr. Martyn seeks no selfish ease. He preaches,
reads and labors assiduously with officers, passengers and crew, and
shuns not to declare the whole counsel of God, even the unpalatable
doctrine of the future punishment of the wicked. He says: "The threats
and opposition of these men made me willing to set before them the
truths they hated, yet I had no species of hesitation about doing it.
They said they would not come if so much hell was preached, but I took
for my text, 'The wicked shall be turned into hell and all the nations
that forget God.' The officers were all behind my back in order to
have an opportunity of retiring in case of dislike. H., as soon as he
heard the text, went back and said he would hear no more about hell;
so he employed himself in feeding the geese. However, God I trust
blessed the sermon to the good of many; some of the cadets and many of
the soldiers were in tears. I felt an ardor and vehemence in some
parts which are unusual with me. After service walked the deck with
Mrs. ----; she spoke with so much simplicity and amiable humility that
I was full of joy and admiration to God for a sheep brought home to
His fold. In the afternoon went below intending to read to them at the
hatchway, but there was not one of them, so I could get nothing to do
among the poor soldiers."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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