Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own PeopleKipling, Rudyard
History
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People
Kipling, Rudyard
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘All that Shakespeare iver wrote an’ a dale more that the gallery
shouted,’ said the man of war, carefully lacing his boots. ‘Did I not
tell you av Silver’s theatre in Dublin, whin I was younger than I am now
an’ a patron av the drama? Ould Silver wud never pay actor-man or woman
their just dues, an’ by consequince his comp’nies was collapsible at the
last minut. Thin the bhoys wud clamour to take a part, an’ oft as not
ould Silver made them pay for the fun. Faith, I’ve seen Hamlut played
wid a new black eye an’ the queen as full as a cornucopia. I remimber
wanst Hogin that ‘listed in the Black Tyrone an’ was shot in South
Africa, he sejuced ould Silver into givin’ him Hamlut’s part instid av
me that had a fine fancy for rhetoric in those days. Av course I wint
into the gallery an’ began to fill the pit wid other people’s hats,
an’ I passed the time av day to Hogin walkin’ through Denmark like a
hamstrung mule wid a pall on his back. “Hamlut,” sez I, “there’s a hole
in your heel. Pull up your shtockin’s, Hamlut,” sez I, “Hamlut, Hamlut,
for the love av decincy dhrop that skull an’ pull up your shtockin’s.”
The whole house begun to tell him that. He stopped his soliloquishms
mid-between. “My shtockin’s may be comin’ down or they may not,” sez
he, screwin’ his eye into the gallery, for well he knew who I was. “But
afther this performince is over me an’ the Ghost ‘ll trample the tripes
out av you, Terence, wid your ass’s bray!” An’ that’s how I come to know
about Hamlut. Eyah! Those days, those days! Did you iver have onendin’
devilmint an’ nothin’ to pay for it in your life, sorr?’
‘Never, without having to pay,’ I said.
‘That’s thrue! ‘Tis mane whin you considher on ut; but ut’s the same wid
horse or fut. A headache if you dhrink, an’ a belly-ache if you eat too
much, an’ a heart-ache to kape all down. Faith, the beast only gets the
colic, an’ he’s the lucky man.’
He dropped his head and stared into the fire, fingering his moustache
the while. From the far side of the bivouac the voice of Corbet-Nolan,
senior subaltern of B company, uplifted itself in an ancient and much
appreciated song of sentiment, the men moaning melodiously behind him.
The north wind blew coldly, she drooped from that hour,
My own little Kathleen, my sweet little Kathleen,
Kathleen, my Kathleen, Kathleen O’Moore!
With forty-five O’s in the last word: even at that distance you might
have cut the soft South Irish accent with a shovel.
‘For all we take we must pay, but the price is cruel high,’ murmured
Mulvaney when the chorus had ceased.
‘What’s the trouble?’ I said gently, for I knew that he was a man of an
inextinguishable sorrow.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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