Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own PeopleKipling, Rudyard
History
Life's Handicap: Being Stories of Mine Own People
Kipling, Rudyard
India -- History -- British occupation, 1765-1947 -- Fiction; India -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Short stories, English
‘“Terence has promust, mother,” sez she, an’ the could sweat bruk out
all over me. Ould Mother Sheehy sat down of a heap an’ began playin’ wid
the cups. “Thin you’re a well-matched pair,” she sez very thick. “For
he’s the biggest rogue that iver spoiled the queen’s shoe-leather” an’--
‘“I’m off, Judy,” sez I. “Ye should not talk nonsinse to your mother.
Get her to bed, girl.”
‘“Nonsinse!” sez the ould woman, prickin’ up her ears like a cat an’
grippin’ the table-edge. “‘Twill be the most nonsinsical nonsinse for
you, ye grinnin’ badger, if nonsinse ‘tis. Git clear, you. I’m goin’ to
bed.”
‘I ran out into the dhark, my head in a stew an’ my heart sick, but I
had sinse enough to see that I’d brought ut all on mysilf. “It’s this to
pass the time av day to a panjandhrum av hell-cats,” sez I. “What I’ve
said, an’ what I’ve not said do not matther. Judy an’ her dam will hould
me for a promust man, an’ Dinah will give me the go, an’ I desarve ut. I
will go an’ get dhrunk,” sez I, “an’ forget about ut, for ‘tis plain I’m
not a marrin’ man.”
‘On my way to canteen I ran against Lascelles, colour-sergint that was
av E Comp’ny, a hard, hard man, wid a torment av a wife. “You’ve the
head av a drowned man on your shoulders,” sez he; “an’ you’re goin’
where you’ll get a worse wan. Come back,” sez he. “Let me go,” sez I.
“I’ve thrown my luck over the wall wid my own hand!”--“Then that’s not
the way to get ut back again,” sez he. “Have out wid your throuble, ye
fool-bhoy.” An’ I tould him how the matther was.
‘He sucked in his lower lip. “You’ve been thrapped,” sez he. “Ju Sheehy
wud be the betther for a man’s name to hers as soon as can. An’ we
thought ye’d put the comether on her,--that’s the natural vanity of the
baste, Terence, you’re a big born fool, but you’re not bad enough
to marry into that comp’ny. If you said anythin’, an’ for all your
protestations I’m sure ye did--or did not, which is worse,--eat ut
all--lie like the father of all lies, but come out av ut free av Judy.
Do I not know what ut is to marry a woman that was the very spit
an’ image av Judy whin she was young? I’m gettin’ old an’ I’ve larnt
patience, but you, Terence, you’d raise hand on Judy an’ kill her in a
year. Never mind if Dinah gives you the go, you’ve desarved ut; never
mind if the whole reg’mint laughs you all day. Get shut av Judy an’ her
mother. They can’t dhrag you to church, but if they do, they’ll dhrag
you to hell. Go back to your quarters and lie down,” sez he. Thin over
his shoulder, “You MUST ha’ done with thim.”
‘Next day I wint to see Dinah, but there was no tucker in me as I
walked. I knew the throuble wud come soon enough widout any handlin’ av
mine, an’ I dreaded ut sore.
‘I heard Judy callin’ me, but I hild straight on to the Shadds’
quarthers, an’ Dinah wud ha’ kissed me but I put her back.
‘“Whin all’s said, darlin’,” sez I, “you can give ut me if ye will, tho’
I misdoubt ‘twill be so easy to come by then.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account