Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted CharactersHardy, Thomas
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Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted Characters
Hardy, Thomas
Short stories, English; Wessex (England) -- Fiction
‘“My dear good clerk,” she says, “if we bide here in the church, folk
may see us through the winders, and find out what has happened; and
’twould cause such a talk and scandal that I never should get over it:
and perhaps, too, dear Andrey might try to get out and leave me! Will
ye lock us up in the tower, my dear good clerk?” she says. “I’ll tole
him in there if you will.”
‘The clerk had no objection to do this to oblige the poor young woman,
and they toled Andrey into the tower, and the clerk locked ’em both up
straightway, and then went home, to return at the end of the two hours.
‘Pa’son Toogood had not been long in his house after leaving the church
when he saw a gentleman in pink and top-boots ride past his windows,
and with a sudden flash of heat he called to mind that the hounds met
that day just on the edge of his parish. The pa’son was one who dearly
loved sport, and much he longed to be there.
‘In short, except o’ Sundays and at tide-times in the week, Pa’son
Billy was the life o’ the Hunt. ’Tis true that he was poor, and that he
rode all of a heap, and that his black mare was rat-tailed and old, and
his tops older, and all over of one colour, whitey-brown, and full o’
cracks. But he’d been in at the death of three thousand foxes.
And—being a bachelor man—every time he went to bed in summer he used to
open the bed at bottom and crawl up head foremost, to mind 'em of the
coming winter and the good sport he’d have, and the foxes going to
earth. And whenever there was a christening at the Squire’s, and he had
dinner there afterwards, as he always did, he never failed to christen
the chiel over again in a bottle of port wine.
‘Now the clerk was the parson’s groom and gardener and jineral manager,
and had just got back to his work in the garden when he, too, saw the
hunting man pass, and presently saw lots more of ’em, noblemen and
gentry, and then he saw the hounds, the huntsman, Jim Treadhedge, the
whipper-in, and I don’t know who besides. The clerk loved going to
cover as frantical as the pa’son, so much so that whenever he saw or
heard the pack he could no more rule his feelings than if they were the
winds of heaven. He might be bedding, or he might be sowing—all was
forgot. So he throws down his spade and rushes in to the pa’son, who
was by this time as frantical to go as he.
‘“That there mare of yours, sir, do want exercise bad, very bad, this
morning!” the clerk says, all of a tremble. “Don’t ye think I’d better
trot her round the downs for an hour, sir?”
‘“To be sure, she does want exercise badly. I’ll trot her round
myself,” says the parson.
‘“Oh—you’ll trot her yerself? Well, there’s the cob, sir. Really that
cob is getting oncontrollable through biding in a stable so long! If
you wouldn’t mind my putting on the saddle—”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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