Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted CharactersHardy, Thomas
General
Life's Little Ironies: A set of tales with some colloquial sketches entitled A Few Crusted Characters
Hardy, Thomas
Short stories, English; Wessex (England) -- Fiction
‘The first step in her scheme was to fasten the outer door, to make
sure of not being interrupted. Then she set to work by placing her
uncle’s small, heavy oak table before the fire; then she went to her
uncle’s corpse, sitting in the chair as he had died—a stuffed
arm-chair, on casters, and rather high in the seat, so it was told
me—and wheeled the chair, uncle and all, to the table, placing him with
his back toward the window, in the attitude of bending over the said
oak table, which I knew as a boy as well as I know any piece of
furniture in my own house. On the table she laid the large family Bible
open before him, and placed his forefinger on the page; and then she
opened his eyelids a bit, and put on him his spectacles, so that from
behind he appeared for all the world as if he were reading the
Scriptures. Then she unfastened the door and sat down, and when it grew
dark she lit a candle, and put it on the table beside her uncle’s book.
‘Folk may well guess how the time passed with her till the agent came,
and how, when his knock sounded upon the door, she nearly started out
of her skin—at least that’s as it was told me. Netty promptly went to
the door.
‘“I am sorry, sir,” she says, under her breath; “my uncle is not so
well to-night, and I’m afraid he can’t see you.”
‘“H’m!—that’s a pretty tale,” says the steward. “So I’ve come all this
way about this trumpery little job for nothing!”
‘“O no, sir—I hope not,” says Netty. “I suppose the business of
granting the new deed can be done just the same?”
‘“Done? Certainly not. He must pay the renewal money, and sign the
parchment in my presence.”
‘She looked dubious. “Uncle is so dreadful nervous about law business,”
says she, “that, as you know, he’s put it off and put it off for years;
and now to-day really I’ve feared it would verily drive him out of his
mind. His poor three teeth quite chattered when I said to him that you
would be here soon with the parchment writing. He always was afraid of
agents, and folks that come for rent, and such-like.”
‘“Poor old fellow—I’m sorry for him. Well, the thing can’t be done
unless I see him and witness his signature.”
‘“Suppose, sir, that you see him sign, and he don’t see you looking at
him? I’d soothe his nerves by saying you weren’t strict about the form
of witnessing, and didn’t wish to come in. So that it was done in your
bare presence it would be sufficient, would it not? As he’s such an
old, shrinking, shivering man, it would be a great considerateness on
your part if that would do?”
‘“In my bare presence would do, of course—that’s all I come for. But
how can I be a witness without his seeing me?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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