England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
LIGHT FREIGHTS
by W. W. JACOBS
1901
[Illustration: “For a time he kept behind.”]
Contents
AN ODD FREAK
A QUESTION OF HABIT
HARD LABOUR
A GARDEN PLOT
PRIVATE CLOTHES
THE BULLY OF THE “CAVENDISH”
THE RESURRECTION OF MR. WIGGETT
A MARKED MAN
TO HAVE AND TO HOLD
BREVET RANK
TWIN SPIRITS
SAM’S BOY
A WILL AND A WAY
JERRY BUNDLER
THE PEACEMAKER
FALSE COLOURS
ILLUSTRATIONS
“For a time he kept behind.”
“‘Not bad news I ’ope,’ says Bill.”
“Wiped his eyes to the memory of the faithful black”
“‘Wot?’ screams Ginger, ‘tattoo me?’”
“There was unpleasantness all round then.”
“With its head tilted back, studying the signpost.”
“‘Don’t talk nonsense.’”
AN ODD FREAK
Speaking o’ money,” said the night-watchman thoughtfully, as he
selected an empty soapbox on the wharf for a seat, “the whole world
would be different if we all ’ad more of it. It would be a brighter and
a ’appier place for everybody.”
He broke off to open a small brass tobacco-box and place a little quid
of tobacco tenderly into a pouch in his left cheek, critically
observing at the same time the efforts of a somewhat large steamer to
get alongside the next wharf without blocking up more than three parts
of the river. He watched it as though the entire operation depended
upon his attention, and, the steamer fast, he turned his eyes back
again and resumed his theme.
“Of course it’s the being short that sharpens people,” he admitted
thoughtfully; “the sharpest man I ever knew never ’ad a ha’penny in ’is
pocket, and the ways ’e had o’ getting other chaps to pay for ’is beer
would ha’ made ’is fortin at the law if ’e’d only ’ad the eddication.
Playful little chap ’e was. I’ve seen men wot didn’t know ’im stand ’im
a pot o’ beer and then foller ’im up the road to see ’im knock down a
policeman as ’e’d promised. They’d foller ’im to the fust policeman ’e
met, an’ then ’e’d point them out and say they were goin’ to half kill
’im, an’ the policeman ’ud just stroll up an’ ask ’em wot they were
’anging about for, but I never ’eard of a chap telling ’im. They used
to go away struck all of a ’eap. He died in the accident ward of the
London Horse-pittle, poor chap.”
He shook his head thoughtfully, and ignoring the statement of a
watchman at the next wharf that it was a fine evening, shifted his quid
and laughed rumblingly.
“The funniest way o’ raising the wind I ever ’eard of,” he said in
explanation, “was one that ’appened about fifteen years ago. I’d just
taken my discharge as A.B. from the _North Star_, trading between here
and the Australian ports, and the men wot the thing ’appened to was
shipmates o’ mine, although on’y firemen.
“I knows it’s a true story, becos I was in it a little bit myself, and
the other part I ’ad from all of ’em, and besides, they didn’t see
anything funny in it at all, or anything out of the way. It seemed to
them quite a easy way o’ making money, and I dessay if it ’ad come off
all right I should have thought so too.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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