England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“She’d disappeared as completely as if she’d gone overboard, and more
than one of the chaps looked over the side half expecting to see ’er
come floating by. By twelve o’clock most of us was convinced that she’d
been made away with, and Mr. Fisher made some remarks about the police
of Melbourne as would ha’ done them good to hear.
“I was just going to see about dinner when we got the first news of
her. Three of the most miserable and solemn-looking captains I’ve ever
seen came alongside and asked for a few words with our skipper. They
all stood in a row looking as if they was going to cry.
“‘Good morning, Captain Hart,’ ses one of ’em, as our old man came up
with the mate.
“‘Good morning,’ ses he.
“‘Do you know this?’ ses one of ’em, suddenly, holding out Miss
Mallow’s dressing-gown on a walking-stick.
“‘Good ’eavens,’ ses the skipper, ‘I hope nothing’s happened to that
pore gal.’
“The three captains shook their heads all together.
“‘She is no more,’ ses another of ’em.
“‘How did it happen?’ ses the skipper, in a low voice.
“‘She took this off,’ ses the fust captain, shaking his head and
pointing to the dressing-gown.
“‘And took a chill?’ ses the skipper, staring very ’ard.
“The three captains shook their ’eads agin, and I noticed that they
seemed to watch each other and do it all together.
“‘I don’t understand,’ ses the skipper.
“‘I was afraid you wouldn’t,’ ses the first captain; ‘she took this
off.’
“‘So you said before,’ ses the skipper, rather short.
“‘And became a boy agin,’ ses the other; ‘the wickedest and most artful
young rascal that ever signed on with me.’
“He looked round at the others, and they all broke out into a perfect
roar of laughter, and jumped up and down and slapped each other on the
back, as if they was all mad. Then they asked which was the one wot had
’is ears boxed, and which was Mr. Fisher and which was Mr. Scott, and
told our skipper what a nice fatherly man he was. Quite a crowd got
round, an’ wouldn’t go away for all we could do to ’em in the shape o’
buckets o’ water and lumps o’ coal. We was the laughing-stock o’ the
place, and the way they carried on when the steamer passed us two days
later with the fust captain on the bridge, pretending not to see that
imp of a boy standing in the bows blowing us kisses and dropping
curtsies, nearly put the skipper out of ’is mind.”
HARD LABOUR
Police-constable C 49 paced slowly up Wapping High Street in the cool
of the evening. The warehouses were closed, and the street almost
denuded of traffic. He addressed a short and stern warning to a couple
of youths struggling on the narrow pavement, and pointed out—with the
toe of his boot—the undesirability of the curbstone as a seat to a
small maiden of five. With his white gloves in his hand he swung slowly
along, monarch of all he surveyed.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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