England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
Mr. Bliss had apparently finished, though he still toyed languidly with
his knife and fork as though loath to put them down. A half-emptied
saucepan of potatoes stood on the floor by his side, and a bone, with a
small fragment of meat adhering, was between his legs on a saucepan lid
which served as a dish.
“Rather underdone, cook,” he said, severely, as he met that worthy’s
horror-stricken gaze.
“Is that the cabin’s or the men’s he’s eaten?” vociferated the skipper.
“Cabin’s,” replied Mr. Bliss, before the cook could speak; “it looked
the best. Now, has anybody got a nice see-gar?”
He drew back the door the other side of the galley as he spoke, and
went out that way. A move was made towards him, but he backed, and
picking up a handspike swung it round his head.
“Let him be,” said the skipper in a choking voice, “let him be. He’ll
have to answer for stealing my dinner when I get ’im ashore. Cook, take
the men’s dinner down into the cabin. I’ll talk to you by and by.”
He walked aft and disappeared below, while Private Bliss, still
fondling the handspike, listened unmoved to a lengthy vituperation
which Bill called a plain and honest opinion of his behaviour.
“It’s the last dinner you’ll ’ave for some time,” he concluded,
spitefully; “it’ll be skilly for you when you get ashore.”
Mr. Bliss smiled, and, fidgeting with his tongue, asked him for the
loan of his toothpick.
“You won’t be using it yourself,” he urged. “Now you go below all of
you and start on the biscuits, there’s good men. It’s no use standing
there saying a lot o’ bad words what I left off when I was four years
old.”
He filled his pipe with some tobacco he had thoughtfully borrowed from
the cook before dinner, and dropping into a negligent attitude on the
deck, smoked placidly with his eyes half-closed. The brig was fairly
steady and the air hot and slumberous, and with an easy assurance that
nobody would hit him while in that position, he allowed his head to
fall on his chest and dropped off into a light sleep.
It became evident to him the following afternoon that they were nearing
Bystermouth. The skipper contented himself with eyeing him with an air
of malicious satisfaction, but the crew gratified themselves by
painting the horrors of his position in strong colors. Private Bliss
affected indifference, but listened eagerly to all they had to say,
with the air of a general considering his enemy’s plans.
It was a source of disappointment to the crew that they did not arrive
until after nightfall, and the tide was already too low for them to
enter the harbour. They anchored outside, and Private Bliss, despite
his position, felt glad as he smelt the land again, and saw the
twinkling lights and houses ashore. He could even hear the clatter of a
belated vehicle driving along the seafront. Lights on the summits of
the heights in the background, indicated, so Bill said, the position of
the fort.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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