England -- Social life and customs -- Fiction; Humorous stories, English; River life -- Fiction
“You never saw anything like Beauty when they ’ad finished with ’im. If
’e was bad in ’is cloes, ’e was a perfeck horror without ’em. Ginger
Dick faked ’im up beautiful, but there was no pleasing ’im. Fust he
found fault with the winder-blind, which ’e said didn’t fit; then ’e
grumbled about going bare-foot, then ’e wanted somethink to ’ide ’is
legs, which was natural considering the shape of ’em. Ginger Dick
nearly lost ’is temper with ’im, and it was all old Sam could do to
stop himself from casting ’im off forever. He was finished at last, and
arter Peter Russet ’ad slipped downstairs and found a bit o’ broken
clothes-prop in the yard, and ’e’d been shown ’ow to lean on it and
make a noise, Ginger said as ’ow if Ted Reddish got ’im for a ’undered
pounds ’e’d get ’im a bargain.
“‘We must ’ave a cab,’ ses old Sam.
“‘Cab?’ ses Ginger. ‘What for?’
“‘We should ’ave half Wapping following us,’ ses Sam. ‘Go out and put
your ring up, Ginger, and fetch a cab.’
“Ginger started grumbling, but he went, and presently came back with
the cab and the money, and they all went downstairs leading the wild
man by a bit o’ line. They only met one party coming up, and ’e seemed
to remember somethink ’e’d forgotten wot ought to be fetched at once.
“Ginger went out fust and opened the cab-door, and then stood there
waiting becos at the last moment the wild man said the winder-blind was
slipping down. They got ’im out at last, but before ’e could get in the
cab was going up the road at ten miles an hour, with Ginger ’anging on
to the door calling to it to stop.
“It came back at about a mile an’ a ’alf an hour, an’ the remarks of
the cabman was eggstrordinary. Even when he got back ’e wouldn’t start
till ’e’d got double fare paid in advance; but they got in at last and
drove off.
“There was a fine scene at Ted Reddish’s door. Ginger said that if
there was a bit of a struggle it would be a good advertisement for Ted
Reddish, and they might p’r’aps get more than a ’undered, and all the
three of ’em could do, they couldn’t get the wild man out o’ that cab,
and the cabman was hopping about ’arf crazy. Every now and then they’d
get the wild man ’arf out, and then he’d get in agin and snarl. ’E
didn’t seem to know when to leave off, and Ginger and the others got
almost as sick of it as the cabman. It must ha’ taken two years’ wear
out o’ that cab, but they got ’im out at last, and Reddish’s door being
open to see what the row was about, they went straight in.
“‘Wot’s all this?’ ses Reddish, who was a tall, thin man, with a dark
moustache.
“It’s a wild man o’ Borneo,’ ses Ginger, panting; ‘we caught ’im in a
forest in Brazil, an’ we’ve come ’ere to give you the fust offer.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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