Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Relations with women; Rutledge, Ann, -1835
She set her own little feet in that path, determined that he should
not outdistance her if she could keep up with his strides. They could
not be married until he was admitted to the bar, so she took up her
old plan of going to Jacksonville Academy. Her brother David was
going to college there, and then was to study law with Lincoln. What
endearing ties were beginning to bind him to her family! They spent
long afternoons studying, and Lincoln made rapid progress, for his
mind was clear and keen, freed from its old miasma of melancholy.
But they seemed curiously to have changed characters. Ann had been
the one of placid temperament, dwelling on a happy level of faith
in a kind world. Lincoln had, by turns, been hilarious and sunk in
gloom. Privations and loss had darkened his youth; promise lured his
young manhood only to mock; powers were given him only to be baffled.
But now life was fair, the course open, the goal in sight, happiness
secure! For Ann had the quiet ways, the steadfast love, and the
sweet, sweet look, in which a man, jaded and goaded by the world of
struggle, could find rest. Surely fate had played all her malicious
tricks! It was enough for him, that summer, to lie at his lady’s
feet, his elbows in the grass, his shock head in his hands, absorbed
in Chitty’s “Pleadings.”
Ann studied fitfully, often looking off absently across field and
river, starting from deep reverie when he spoke to her. Her mother
noticed her long, grave silences, but thought of them as the pensive
musings of a young girl in love. This impression was increased by her
absorption in her lover. When with him, talking with him, a subtle
excitement burned in her eye and pulsed in her cheek; but when he was
gone the inner fire of her spirit seemed to turn to ashes. She clung
desperately, visibly, to this new love--so infinitely more precious
and satisfying than the old. She did not doubt its reality, but
happiness, in the nature of things, was to her, now, evanescent
and escaping.
People remembered afterward, as the days lengthened, how fragile
Ann looked, as if withered by hot, sleepless nights--how vivid and
tremulous. She had spells of wild gaiety, her laughter bubbling up
like water from a spring, and she grew lovelier, day by day. And
there were times, when Lincoln was away in the harvest-field or on
surveying trips, that she sat pale and listless and brooding for
hours, with hands that had always been so busy and helpful, clasped
idly in her lap.
Like Juliet, she must often have cried in her secret heart, “Oh,
love, remain!” Left alone, she became the prey of torturing thoughts.
Life had dealt Ann Rutledge but one blow, but that had struck to the
roots of her physical and spiritual life. Her world still tottered
from the shock. If she had confessed all her first vague, foolish
fears, her mind might have been freed of their poison. But she came
of brave blood and tried to fight her battle alone.
Illustration: Copyright, 1907, by Gutzon Borglum.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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