Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
One of the cartoon-posters issued by the Democratic National Campaign
Committee in the fall of 1864 is given here. It had the legend, “Running
the Machine,” printed beneath; the “machine” was Secretary Chase’s
“Greenback Mill,” and the mill was turning out paper money by the
million to satisfy the demands of greedy contractors. “Uncle Abe” is
pictured as about to tell one of his funny stories, of which the scene
“reminds” him; Secretary of War Stanton is receiving a message from the
front, describing a great victory, in which one prisoner and one gun
were taken; Secretary of State Seward is handing an order to a messenger
for the arrest of a man who had called him a “humbug,” the habeas corpus
being suspended throughout the Union at that period; Secretary of
the Navy Welles--the long-haired, long-bearded man at the head of
the table--is figuring out a naval problem; at the side of the table,
opposite “Uncle Abe,” are seated two Government contractors, shouting
for “more greenbacks,” and at the extreme left is Secretary of the
Treasury Fessenden (who succeeded Chase when the latter was made Chief
Justice of the United States Supreme Court), who complains that he
cannot satisfy the greed of the contractors for “more greenbacks,”
although he is grinding away at the mill day and night.
WAS “BOSS” WHEN NECESSARY.
Lincoln was the actual head of the administration, and whenever he chose
to do so he controlled Secretary of War Stanton as well as the other
Cabinet ministers.
Secretary Stanton on one occasion said: “Now, Mr. President, those are
the facts and you must see that your order cannot be executed.”
Lincoln replied in a somewhat positive tone: “Mr. Secretary, I reckon
you’ll have to execute the order.”
Stanton replied with vigor: “Mr. President, I cannot do it. This order
is an improper one, and I cannot execute it.”
Lincoln fixed his eyes upon Stanton, and, in a firm voice and accent
that clearly showed his determination, said: “Mr. Secretary, it will
have to be done.”
It was done.
“RATHER STARVE THAN SWINDLE.”
Ward Lamon, once Lincoln’s law partner, relates a story which places
Lincoln’s high sense of honor in a prominent light. In a certain case,
Lincoln and Lamon being retained by a gentleman named Scott, Lamon put
the fee at $250, and Scott agreed to pay it. Says Lamon:
“Scott expected a contest, but, to his surprise, the case was tried
inside of twenty minutes; our success was complete. Scott was satisfied,
and cheerfully paid over the money to me inside the bar, Lincoln looking
on. Scott then went out, and Lincoln asked, ‘What did you charge that
man?’
“I told him $250. Said he: ‘Lamon, that is all wrong. The service was
not worth that sum. Give him back at least half of it.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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