Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“‘Yes, there is a lesson,’ replied General Tyler; ‘we are of the same
sort, but subject to different handling. Bragg’s little force was
superior to our larger number because he had it under control. If a man
left his ranks, he was punished; if he deserted, he was shot. We had
nothing of that sort. If we attempt to shoot a deserter you pardon him,
and our army is without discipline.’
“The President looked perplexed. ‘Why do you interfere?’ continued
General Tyler. ‘Congress has taken from you all responsibility.’
“‘Yes,’ answered the President impatiently, ‘Congress has taken the
responsibility and left the women to howl all about me,’ and so he
strode away.”
HE’D RUIN ALL THE OTHER CONVICTS.
One of the droll stories brought into play by the President as an ally
in support of his contention, proved most effective. Politics was rife
among the generals of the Union Army, and there was more “wire-pulling”
to prevent the advancement of fellow commanders than the laying of plans
to defeat the Confederates in battle.
However, when it so happened that the name of a particularly unpopular
general was sent to the Senate for confirmation, the protest against
his promotion was almost unanimous. The nomination didn’t seem to please
anyone. Generals who were enemies before conferred together for the
purpose of bringing every possible influence to bear upon the Senate
and securing the rejection of the hated leader’s name. The President was
surprised. He had never known such unanimity before.
“You remind me,” said the President to a delegation of officers which
called upon him one day to present a fresh protest to him regarding the
nomination, “of a visit a certain Governor paid to the Penitentiary of
his State. It had been announced that the Governor would hear the story
of every inmate of the institution, and was prepared to rectify, either
by commutation or pardon, any wrongs that had been done to any prisoner.
“One by one the convicts appeared before His Excellency, and each one
maintained that he was an innocent man, who had been sent to prison
because the police didn’t like him, or his friends and relatives wanted
his property, or he was too popular, etc., etc. The last prisoner to
appear was an individual who was not all prepossessing. His face was
against him; his eyes were shifty; he didn’t have the appearance of an
honest man, and he didn’t act like one.
“‘Well,’ asked the Governor, impatiently, ‘I suppose you’re innocent
like the rest of these fellows?’
“‘No, Governor,’ was the unexpected answer; ‘I was guilty of the crime
they charged against me, and I got just what I deserved.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
Reviews
Reviews
No reviews yet
Be the first to share your thoughts on this work.
Elsewhere in the archive
Join the Discussion
Join the discussion
Sign in to leave a comment or review.
Sign InorCreate an account