Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“When he had recovered from his astonishment, the Governor, looking
the fellow squarely in the face, remarked with emphasis: ‘I’ll have to
pardon you, because I don’t want to leave so bad a man as you are in
the company of such innocent sufferers as I have discovered your
fellow-convicts to be. You might corrupt them and teach them wicked
tricks. As soon as I get back to the capital, I’ll have the papers made
out.’
“You gentlemen,” continued the President, “ought to be glad that so bad
a man, as you represent this officer to be, is to get his promotion,
for then you won’t be forced to associate with him and suffer the
contamination of his presence and influence. I will do all I can to have
the Senate confirm him.”
And he was confirmed.
IN A HOPELESS MINORITY.
The President was often in opposition to the general public sentiment of
the North upon certain questions of policy, but he bided his time, and
things usually came out as he wanted them. It was Lincoln’s opinion,
from the first, that apology and reparation to England must be made
by the United States because of the arrest, upon the high seas, of the
Confederate Commissioners, Mason and Slidell. The country, however (the
Northern States), was wild for a conflict with England.
“One war at a time,” quietly remarked the President at a Cabinet
meeting, where he found the majority of his advisers unfavorably
disposed to “backing down.” But one member of the Cabinet was a really
strong supporter of the President in his attitude.
“I am reminded,” the President said after the various arguments had been
put forward by the members of the Cabinet, “of a fellow out in my State
of Illinois who happened to stray into a church while a revival meeting
was in progress. To be truthful, this individual was not entirely sober,
and with that instinct which seems to impel all men in his condition to
assume a prominent part in proceedings, he walked up the aisle to the
very front pew.
“All noticed him, but he did not care; for awhile he joined audibly in
the singing, said ‘Amen’ at the close of the prayers, but, drowsiness
overcoming him, he went to sleep. Before the meeting closed, the
pastor asked the usual question--‘Who are on the Lord’s side?’--and the
congregation arose en masse. When he asked, ‘Who are on the side of
the Devil?’ the sleeper was about waking up. He heard a portion of the
interrogatory, and, seeing the minister on his feet, arose.
“‘I don’t exactly understand the question,’ he said, ‘but I’ll stand by
you, parson, to the last. But it seems to me,’ he added, ‘that we’re in
a hopeless minority.’
“I’m in a hopeless minority now,” said the President, “and I’ll have to
admit it.”
“DID YE ASK MORRISSEY YET?”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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