Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“As to those who, like Wade and the rest, see fit to depreciate my
policy and cavil at my official acts, I shall not complain of them. I
accord them the utmost freedom of speech and liberty of the press, but
shall not change the policy I have adopted in the full belief that I am
right.
“I feel on this subject as an old Illinois farmer once expressed himself
while eating cheese. He was interrupted in the midst of his repast by
the entrance of his son, who exclaimed, ‘Hold on, dad! there’s skippers
in that cheese you’re eating!’
“‘Never mind, Tom,’ said he, as he kept on munching his cheese, ‘if they
can stand it I can.’”
LINCOLN MISTAKEN FOR ONCE.
President Lincoln was compelled to acknowledge that he made at least one
mistake in “sizing up” men. One day a very dignified man called at the
White House, and Lincoln’s heart fell when his visitor approached. The
latter was portly, his face was full of apparent anxiety, and Lincoln
was willing to wager a year’s salary that he represented some Society
for the Easy and Speedy Repression of Rebellions.
The caller talked fluently, but at no time did he give advice or suggest
a way to put down the Confederacy. He was full of humor, told a clever
story or two, and was entirely self-possessed.
At length the President inquired, “You are a clergyman, are you not,
sir?”
“Not by a jug full,” returned the stranger heartily.
Grasping him by the hand Lincoln shook it until the visitor squirmed.
“You must lunch with us. I am glad to see you. I was afraid you were a
preacher.”
“I went to the Chicago Convention,” the caller said, “as a friend of Mr.
Seward. I have watched you narrowly ever since your inauguration, and
I called merely to pay my respects. What I want to say is this: I think
you are doing everything for the good of the country that is in
the power of man to do. You are on the right track. As one of your
constituents I now say to you, do in future as you d---- please, and I
will support you!”
This was spoken with tremendous effect.
“Why,” said Mr. Lincoln in great astonishment, “I took you to be a
preacher. I thought you had come here to tell me how to take Richmond,”
and he again grasped the hand of his strange visitor.
Accurate and penetrating as Mr. Lincoln’s judgment was concerning men,
for once he had been wholly mistaken. The scene was comical in the
extreme. The two men stood gazing at each other. A smile broke from the
lips of the solemn wag and rippled over the wide expanse of his homely
face like sunlight overspreading a continent, and Mr. Lincoln was
convulsed with laughter.
He stayed to lunch.
FORGOT EVERYTHING HE KNEW.
President Lincoln, while entertaining a few friends, is said to have
related the following anecdote of a man who knew too much:
During the administration of President Jackson there was a singular
young gentleman employed in the Public Postoffice in Washington.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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