Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“Quarrel not at all. No man resolved to make the most of himself can
spare time for personal contention. Still less can he afford to take all
the consequences, including the vitiating of his temper and the loss
of self-control. Yield larger things to which you can show no more than
equal right; and yield lesser ones, though clearly your own.
“Better give your path to a dog than be bitten by him in contesting for
the right. Even killing the dog would not cure the bite.”
“THOROUGH” IS A GOOD WORD.
Some one came to the President with a story about a plot to accomplish
some mischief in the Government. Lincoln listened to what was a very
superficial and ill-formed story, and then said: “There is one
thing that I have learned, and that you have not. It is only one
word--‘thorough.’”
Then, bringing his hand down on the table with a thump to emphasize his
meaning, he added, “thorough!”
THE CABINET WAS A-SETTIN’.
Being in Washington one day, the Rev. Robert Collyer thought he’d take a
look around. In passing through the grounds surrounding the White House,
he cast a glance toward the Presidential residence, and was astonished
to see three pairs of feet resting on the ledge of an open window in one
of the apartments of the second story. The divine paused for a moment,
calmly surveyed the unique spectacle, and then resumed his walk toward
the War Department.
Seeing a laborer at work not far from the Executive Mansion, Mr.
Collyer asked him what it all meant. To whom did the feet belong, and,
particularly, the mammoth ones? “You old fool,” answered the workman,
“that’s the Cabinet, which is a-settin’, an’ them thar big feet belongs
to ‘Old Abe.’”
A BULLET THROUGH HIS HAT.
A soldier tells the following story of an attempt upon the life of Mr.
Lincoln “One night I was doing sentinel duty at the entrance to the
Soldiers’ Home. This was about the middle of August, 1864. About eleven
o’clock I heard a rifle shot, in the direction of the city, and shortly
afterwards I heard approaching hoof-beats. In two or three minutes a
horse came dashing up. I recognized the belated President. The President
was bareheaded. The President simply thought that his horse had taken
fright at the discharge of the firearms.
“On going back to the place where the shot had been heard, we found
the President’s hat. It was a plain silk hat, and upon examination we
discovered a bullet hole through the crown.
“The next day, upon receiving the hat, the President remarked that it
was made by some foolish marksman, and was not intended for him; but
added that he wished nothing said about the matter.
“The President said, philosophically: ‘I long ago made up my mind that
if anybody wants to kill me, he will do it. Besides, in this case, it
seems to me, the man who would succeed me would be just as objectionable
to my enemies--if I have any.’
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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