Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
“He took it into his head to go into hog-raising. He sent out to Europe
and imported the finest breed of hogs he could buy.
“The prize hog was put in a pen, and the farmer’s two mischievous boys,
James and John, were told to be sure not to let it out. But James, the
worst of the two, let the brute out the next day. The hog went straight
for the boys, and drove John up a tree, then the hog went for the seat
of James’ trousers, and the only way the boy could save himself was by
holding on to the hog’s tail.
“The hog would not give up his hunt, nor the boy his hold! After they
had made a good many circles around the tree, the boy’s courage began to
give out, and he shouted to his brother, ‘I say, John, come down, quick,
and help me let go this hog!’
“Now, Governor, that is exactly my case. I wish some one would come and
help me to let the hog go.”
THE CABINET LINCOLN WANTED.
Judge Joseph Gillespie, of Chicago, was a firm friend of Mr. Lincoln,
and went to Springfield to see him shortly before his departure for the
inauguration.
“It was,” said judge Gillespie, “Lincoln’s Gethsemane. He feared he was
not the man for the great position and the great events which confronted
him. Untried in national affairs, unversed in international diplomacy,
unacquainted with the men who were foremost in the politics of the
nation, he groaned when he saw the inevitable War of the Rebellion
coming on. It was in humility of spirit that he told me he believed that
the American people had made a mistake in selecting him.
“In the course of our conversation he told me if he could select his
cabinet from the old bar that had traveled the circuit with him in
the early days, he believed he could avoid war or settle it without a
battle, even after the fact of secession.
“‘But, Mr. Lincoln,’ said I, ‘those old lawyers are all Democrats.’
“‘I know it,’ was his reply. ‘But I would rather have Democrats whom I
know than Republicans I don’t know.’”
READY FOR “BUTCHER-DAY.”
Leonard Swett told this eminently characteristic story:
“I remember one day being in his room when Lincoln was sitting at his
table with a large pile of papers before him, and after a pleasant talk
he turned quite abruptly and said: ‘Get out of the way, Swett; to-morrow
is butcher-day, and I must go through these papers and see if I cannot
find some excuse to let these poor fellows off.’
“The pile of papers he had were the records of courts-martial of men who
on the following day were to be shot.”
“THE BAD BIRD AND THE MUDSILL.”
It took quite a long time, as well as the lives of thousands of men, to
say nothing of the cost in money, to take Richmond, the Capital City of
the Confederacy. In this cartoon, taken from “Frank Leslie’s Illustrated
Newspaper,” of February 21, 1863, Jeff Davis is sitting upon the
Secession eggs in the “Richmond” nest, smiling down upon President
Lincoln, who is up to his waist in the Mud of Difficulties.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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