Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story tellerMcClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
History
Lincoln's yarns and stories : $b A complete collection of the funny and witty anecdotes that made Lincoln famous as America's greatest story teller
McClure, Alexander K. (Alexander Kelly)
Lincoln, Abraham, 1809-1865 -- Anecdotes
The President finally waded through the morass, in which he had become
immersed, got to the tree, climbed its trunk, reached the limb, upon
which the “bad bird” had built its nest, threw the mother out, destroyed
the eggs of Secession and then took the nest away with him, leaving the
“bad bird” without any home at all.
The “bad bird” had its laugh first, but the last laugh belonged to the
“mudsill,” as the cartoonist was pleased to call the President of the
United States. It is true that the President got his clothes and hat all
covered with mud, but as the job was a dirty one, as well as one that
had to be done, the President didn’t care. He was able to get another
suit of clothes, as well as another hat, but the “bad bird” couldn’t,
and didn’t, get another nest.
The laugh was on the “bad bird” after all.
GAVE THE SOLDIER HIS FISH.
Once, when asked what he remembered about the war with Great Britain,
Lincoln replied: “Nothing but this: I had been fishing one day and
caught a little fish, which I was taking home. I met a soldier in the
road, and, having been always told at home that we must be good to the
soldiers, I gave him my fish.”
This must have been about 1814, when “Abe” was five years of age.
A PECULIAR LAWYER.
Lincoln was once associate counsel for a defendant in a murder case.
He listened to the testimony given by witness after witness against his
client, until his honest heart could stand it no longer; then, turning
to his associate, he said: “The man is guilty; you defend him--I can’t,”
and when his associate secured a verdict of acquittal, Lincoln refused
to share the fee to the extent of one cent.
Lincoln would never advise clients to enter into unwise or unjust
lawsuits, always preferring to refuse a retainer rather than be a party
to a case which did not commend itself to his sense of justice.
IF THEY’D ONLY “SKIP.”
General Creswell called at the White House to see the President the day
of the latter’s assassination. An old friend, serving in the Confederate
ranks, had been captured by the Union troops and sent to prison. He
had drawn an affidavit setting forth what he knew about the man,
particularly mentioning extenuating circumstances.
Creswell found the President very happy. He was greeted with: “Creswell,
old fellow, everything is bright this morning. The War is over. It has
been a tough time, but we have lived it out,--or some of us have,” and
he dropped his voice a little on the last clause of the sentence. “But
it is over; we are going to have good times now, and a united country.”
General Creswell told his story, read his affidavit, and said, “I know
the man has acted like a fool, but he is my friend, and a good fellow;
let him out; give him to me, and I will be responsible that he won’t
have anything more to do with the rebs.”
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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