"I'll give you a dollar for the lot," said A------, expecting to pose the Italian. "You takes'em," greedily exclaimed the artist, and he left Mr. L. A. A------n with a lot of plaster on hand which he had hard work to give away. "There's an odor of nationality about those bills, said Secretary Chase, showing a lot of the firstlings of his greenbacks to Uncle Abe. "A very good figure of speech," replied Uncle Abe, "but you must not get too many under the public nostril, or your figure of speech will be an odor of fact." April 1, 1862, greenbacks, 100. April 1, 1864, greenbacks, 55. Uncle Abe as a Pilot. The captain of one of the Mississippi river steamers one morning, while his boat was lying at her moorings at New Orleans, waiting for the tardy pilot, who, it appears, was a rather uncertain sort of fellow, saw a tall, gaunt Sucker make his appearance before the captain's office, and sing out-- "Hello, cap'n! you don't want a pilot nor nothin' about this 'ere craft, do ye?" "How do you know I don't?" responded the captain. "Oh, you don't understand; I axed you s'posin' you did?" "Then, supposing I do, what of it?" "Well," said Uncle Abe, for it was he, "I reckon I know suthin' about that ere sort o' business, provided you wanted a feller of jest about my size." The captain gave him a scrutinising glance, and with an expression of countenance which seemed to say, "I should pity the steamer that you piloted," asked-- "Are you acquainted with the river, and do you know where the snags are?" "Well, ye-as," responded Uncle Abe rather hesitatingly, "I'm pretty well acquainted with the river, but the snags, I don't know exactly so much about them." "Don't know about the snags?" exclaimed the captain, contemptuously, "don't know about the snags! You'd make a pretty pilot!" At this Uncle Abe's countenance assumed anything but an angelic expression, and with a darkened brow and a fiercely flashing eye, he drew himself up to his full height, and indignantly roared back in a voice of thunder: "What do I want to know where the snags are for, old sea-hoss? I know where they ain't, and there's where I do my sailing!" It is sufficient to know that Uncle Abe was promptly engaged, and that the captain takes pleasure in saying that he proved himself one of the best pilots on the river. (Wonder if Uncle Abe has forgotten how to sail in clear water? A. A.) Uncle Abe's Valentine. Uncle Abe on the 14th of last February, received a valentine in the shape of a picture of the American eagle, with a financial allusion. The bird of freedom appeared to be engaged in picking up gold coin, while at the end of the bird most remote from his head there was a pile of "green-backs," into which this coin seemed to have been mysteriously transmuted.