“And this,” Mrs. Condon declared, “is what I get for being, yes--proper.
“I said to-night, 'George,' I said, 'go right back home. It's the only
thing. They have a right to you.' I told him that only to-night. And,
'No, I must consider my little Linda.' If I had held up my finger,”
she held up a finger to show the smallness of the act necessary, “where
would we have all been?
“But this is what I get. You might think the world would notice a
woman's best efforts. No, they all try to crowd her and see her slip. If
they don't watch out I'll skid, all right, and with some one they least
expect. I have opportunities.”
Linda realized with a sense of confusion that her mother had known of
Mr. Jasper's marriage all the while. But she had nobly tried to save him
from something; just what Linda couldn't make out. The other's breath
was heavy with drinking.
“You go to bed, Lin,” she continued; “and thank you for taking care of
mama. I hope to goodness you'll learn from all this--pick out what
you want and make for it. Don't bother with the antique frumps, the
disappointed old tabbies. Have your fun. There's nothing else. If you
like a man, be on the level with him--give and take. Men are not saints
and we're better for it; we don't live in a heaven. You've got a sweet
little figure. Always remember mama telling you that the most expensive
corsets are the cheapest in the end.”
Linda undressed slowly and methodically, her mother's words ringing
in her head. Always remember--but of course she would have the nicest
things possible.... A keepsake and faint music. She thought, privately,
that she was too thin; she'd rather be her mother, with shoulders like
bunches of smooth pink roses. In bed, just as she was falling asleep, a
sound disturbed her from the corridor above--the slow tramping of heavy
feet, like a number of men carefully bearing an awkward object. She
listened with suspended breath while they passed. The footfalls seemed
to pound on her heart. Slowly, slowly they went, unnatural and measured.
They were gone now, but she still heard them. The crashing of her mother
into bed followed with a deep sigh. The long fall of a wave on the shore
was audible. Two things contended in her stilled brain--the mysterious
feeling of desire and her mother's advice. They were separate and
fought, yet they were strangely incomprehensibly joined.
IV
In the morning Mrs. Condon, with a very late breakfast-tray in bed, had
regained her usual cheerful manner. “The truth is,” she told Linda, “I'm
glad that Jasper man has gone. He had no idea of discretion; tired of
them anyhow.” Linda radiated happiness. This was the mother she loved
above all others. Her mind turned a little to the man who had talked to
her the night before. She wondered if he were better. His thin blanched
face, his eyes gleaming uncomfortably in smudges, recurred to her.
Perhaps he'd be down by the cigar-stand again. She went, presently, to
see, but the row of chairs was empty.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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