In the immediate tragedy of her helplessness, with Dodge Pleydon
impatient for an assurance, she paused involuntarily to wonder about
that hidden imperative sense. There was a broken mental fantasy of--of a
leopard bearing a woman in shining hair. This was succeeded by a bright
thrust of happiness and, all about her, a surging like the imagined
beat of the wings of the Victory in Markue's room. Almost Pleydon had
explained everything, almost he was everything; and then the other,
putting him aside, had swept her back into the misery of doubt and
loneliness.
“I can't marry you,” she said in a flat and dragged voice. He demanded
abruptly:
“Why not?”
“I don't know.” She recognized his utter right to the temper that
mastered him. For a moment Linda thought Pleydon would shake her. “You
feel that way now,” he declared; “and perhaps next month; but you will
change; in the end I'll have you.”
“No,” she told him, with a certainty from a source outside her
consciousness. “It has been spoiled.”
He replied, “Time will discover which of us is right. I'm almost willing
to stay away till you send for me. But that would only make you more
stubborn. What a strong little devil you are, Linda. I have no doubt I'd
do better to marry a human being. Then I think we both forget how young
you are--you can't pretend to be definite yet.”
He captured her hands; too exhausted for any resentment or feeling she
made no effort to evade him. “I'll never say good-bye to you.”
His voice had the absolute quality of her own conviction. To her
amazement her cheeks were suddenly wet with tears. “I want to go now,”
she said unsteadily; “and--and thank you.”
His old easy formality returned as he made his departure. In reply to
Pleydon's demand she told him listlessly that she would be here for,
perhaps, a week longer. Then he'd see her, he continued, in New York, at
the Feldts'.
In her room all emotion faded. Pleydon had said that she was still
young; but she was sure she could never, in experience or feeling, be
older. She became sorry for herself; or rather for the illusions, the
Linda, of a few hours ago. She examined her features in the limited
uncertain mirror--strong sensations, she knew, were a charge on the
appearance--but she was unable to find any difference in her regular
pallor. Then, mechanically conducting her careful preparations for the
night, her propitiation of the only omnipotence she knew, she put out
the candles of her May.
XXII
What welcome Linda met in New York came from Mr. Moses Feldt, who
embraced her warmly enough, but with an air slightly ill at ease. He
begged her to kiss her mama, who was sometimes hurt by Linda's coldness.
She made no reply, and found the same influence and evidence of the
power of suggestion in Judith. “We thought maybe you wouldn't care to
come back here,” the latter said pointedly, over her shoulder, while
she was directing the packing of a trunk. The Feldts were preparing for
their summer stay at the sea.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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