It was fall, October, and the day was a space of pale gold foliage
wreathed in blue garlands of mist. The gardener was busy with a wooden
rake and wheelbarrow in which he carted away dead leaves for burning.
The fire was back of the low fence, in the rear, and Linda, at the
dining-room window, could hear the fierce small crackle of flames; the
drifting pungent smoke was like a faint breath of ammonia. Arnaud had
left for the day, Lowrie was at the university, while Vigné and her
husband--moving toward their ultimate colonial threshold--had taken a
small house. She was alone.
As usual.
However, in her present state her solitude had lost its inevitability;
she failed to see why it must continue until the end of time. She could
no longer discover a sufficient reason for her limitless endurance,
her placid acceptance of all that chance, or any inconsiderable person,
happened to dictate. She wasn't like that in the least. Her temper had
solidified as though it were ice, taking everywhere the form in which
it was held. It was a reality. She determined, as well, that her feeling
should not melt back into the familiar acceptance of a routine that had
led her blindfolded across such an extent of life.
She understood now, in a large part, her disturbance at the indignity
to Dodge's monument--he had assured her that she was its inspiration;
except for her it would never have been realized, he would have kept
on modeling those Newport fountains, continued with the Susanna Nodas,
spending himself ignobly. He loved her, and that love had resulted in a
statue the world of art, of taste, honored. But it was she all the while
they were approving, discussing, writing about, Linda Condon.
She had always been that, Pleydon had informed her, never Linda
Hallet--in spite of Arnaud and their children. It sounded like nonsense;
but, at the bottom, it was truth. Of course it couldn't be explained,
for example, to the man who had every right, every evidence, to consider
himself her husband. Nothing was susceptible of explanation. Absolutely
nothing! There was the earth, which appeared to be everything, the
houses you entered, the streets you passed over, the people among whom
you lived, yet that wasn't all. Heavens, no! It was quite unimportant
compared with--with other facts latent in the mind and blood.
Dodge Pleydon's love was one of those other facts; it was simply
impossible to deny its existence, its power. Dodge had been totally
changed by it, born over again. But she, who had been the source, had
had no good from it, nothing except the thrill that had always been
hers. No one knew of it, counted it as her achievement, paid the
slightest attention to her. Arnaud smiled indulgently, Lowrie scoffed.
When the statue had been thrown down they thought of it merely as a
deplorable part of the day's news. They hadn't seen that she, Linda
Condon, was unspeakably insulted.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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