Germany -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
It had cost her an hour of hard toil to write this little letter,
and when it was written she felt that it was cold, ungrateful,
unloving,--very unlike the words which he would feel that he had a
right to expect from her. Nevertheless, such as it was, she gave
it to her friend Fanny, with many injunctions that it might, if
possible, be placed in the hands of Ludovic. And thus, as she told
herself repeatedly on her way home, the romance of her life was over.
After all, the journey to Augsburg would have been serviceable to
her,--would be serviceable although her character should be infamous
for ever in the town that knew her,--if by that journey she would be
saved from all further mention of the name of Peter Steinmarc. No
disgrace would be so bad as the prospect of that marriage. Therefore,
as she journeyed homeward, sitting opposite to her aunt, she
endeavoured to console herself by reflecting that his suit to her
would surely be at an end. Would it ever reach his dull heart that
she had consented to destroy her own character, to undergo ill-repute
and the scorn of all honest people, in order that she might not be
forced into the horror of a marriage with him? Could he be made to
understand that in her flight from Nuremberg her great motive had
been to fly from him?
On the second morning after her return even this consolation was
taken from her, and she learned from her aunt that she had not given
up all hope in the direction of the town-clerk. On the first day
after her return not a word was said to Linda about Peter, nor would
she have had any notice of his presence in the house had she not
heard his shoes creaking up and down the stairs. Nor was the name of
Ludovic Valcarm so much as mentioned in her presence. Between Tetchen
and her there was not a word passed, unless such as were spoken in
the presence of Madame Staubach. Linda found that she was hardly
allowed to be for a moment out of her aunt's presence, and at this
time she was unable not to be submissive. It seemed to her that
her aunt was so good to her in not positively upbraiding her from
morning to night, that it was impossible for her not to be altogether
obedient in all things! She did not therefore even struggle to escape
the long readings, and the longer prayers, and the austere severity
of her aunt's presence. Except in prayer,--in prayers delivered out
loud by the aunt in the niece's presence,--no direct mention was
made of the great iniquity of which Linda had been guilty. Linda was
called no heartrending name to her face; but she was required to
join, and did join over and over again, in petitions to the throne of
mercy "that the poor castaway might be received back again into the
pale of those who were accepted." And at this time she would have
been content to continue to live like this, to join in such prayers
day after day, to have her own infamy continually brought forward as
needing some special mercy, if by such means she might be allowed to
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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