Germany -- Social life and customs -- 19th century -- Fiction
She went on without flinching till the night of the tenth of March.
Up to that time, from the day on which she had last consented to her
martyrdom, no idea of escape had occurred to her. As she left her
aunt on that evening, Madame Staubach spoke to her. "You should at
any rate pray for him," said Madame Staubach. "I hope that you pray
that this marriage may be for his welfare." How could she pray for
him? And how could she utter such a prayer as that? But she tried;
and as she tried, she reflected that the curse to him would be as
great as it was to her. Not only was she to be sacrificed, but the
miserable man was bringing himself also to utter wretchedness. Unless
she could die, there would be no escape for him, as also there would
be none for her. That she should speak to him, touch him, hold
intercourse with him, was, she now told herself, out of the question.
She might be his servant, if he would allow her to be so at a
distance, but nothing more. Or it might be possible that she should
be his murderess! A woman who has been taught by her religion that
she is and must be a child of the Evil One, may become guilty of what
most terrible crime you please without much increase of damage to her
own cause,--without much damage according to her own views of life
and death. Linda, as she thought of it in her own chamber, with her
eyes wide open, looking into the dark night from out of her window,
declared to herself that in certain circumstances she would certainly
attempt to kill him. She shuddered and shook till she almost fell
from her chair. Come what might, she would not endure the pressure of
his caress.
Then she got up and resolved that she would even yet make one other
struggle to escape. It would not be true of her to say that at this
moment she was mad, but the mixed excitement and terror of her
position as she was waiting her doom, joined to her fears, her
doubts, and, worse than all, her certainties as to her condition in
the sight of God, had almost unstrung her mind. She had almost come
to believe that the world was at its end, and that the punishment of
which she had heard so much was already upon her. "If this is to be a
doom for ever," she said to herself, "the God I have striven to love
is very cruel." But then there came an exercise of reason which told
her that it could not be a doom for ever. It was clear to her that
there was much as yet within her own power which could certainly not
be so in that abode of the unblessed to which she was to be summoned.
There was the window before her, with the silent river running below;
and she knew that she could throw herself from it if she chose to put
forth the power which she still possessed. She felt that "she herself
might her quietus make with a bare bodkin." Why should she
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