How she got through that song, how she got through that scene, Linnet
never knew. She was conscious of but two things—Will Deverill’s
presence and the Blessed Madonna. Remorse and shame almost choked her
utterance. But mechanically she went on, and sang her part out to the
end—sang it exquisitely, superbly. Have you ever noticed that what we
do most automatically, we often do best? It was so that night at the
Harmony with Linnet. She knew her music well; she had studied it
carefully; and the very absence of self-consciousness which this
recognition gave her, made her sing it more artlessly, yet more
perfectly than ever. She forgot the actress and the singer in the woman.
That suited her best of all. Her mental existence was divided, as it
were, into two distinct halves; one conscious and personal, absorbed
with Will Deverill and Our Dear Lady in Britannia metal; the other
unconscious and automatic, pouring forth with a full throat the notes
and words it was wound up to utter. And the automatic self did its work
to perfection. The audience hung entranced; Andreas Hausberger, watching
them narrowly from a box at the side, hugged his sordid soul in rapture
at the thought that Linnet had captured them on this her first night in
that golden England.
She sang on and on. The audience sat enthralled. Gradually, by slow
stages, the sense of hearing came back to her. But she had done as well,
or even better without it. The act went off splendidly. Andreas
Hausberger was in transports. At the first interval between the scenes,
Rue debated in her own soul what to do about Linnet; but, being a wise
woman in her way, she determined to wait till the end of the piece
before deciding on action. Act the Second, Act the Third, Act the Fourth
followed fast; in Act the Fifth when Linnet, no longer a peasant girl,
but the bride of the Grand Duke, came on in her beautiful pale primrose
brocade, cut square in the bodice like a picture of Titian’s, the
audience cheered again with a vociferous outburst. Linnet blushed and
bowed; a glow of conscious triumph suffused her face; then she raised
her eyes timidly to the box on the first tier. Her victory was complete.
She could see by his face Will Deverill was satisfied—and the grand
lady with the diamonds was sincerely applauding her.
Was the grand lady his wife? Why not? Why not? What could it matter to
her now? She was Andreas Hausberger’s. And Will—why, Will was but an
old Zillerthal acquaintance.
Yet she clutched Our Blessed Frau tighter than ever in her grasp, at
that painful thought, and somehow hoped illogically Our Blessed Frau
would protect her from the chance of the grand lady being really married
to Will Deverill. Not even the gods, says Aristotle, in his philosophic
calm, can make the past not have been as it was. But Linnet thought
otherwise.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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