“Herr Will was there, if you mean _him_,” Linnet answered, fiery red,
but disdaining the weak subterfuge of a pretended ignorance. “I didn’t
go to meet him, though; I didn’t know he was there. He’s gone round with
her, poor girl, to see the Archbishop.”
Andreas drew himself up very stiff. He hadn’t quite liked that stress
Linnet put on Philippina’s name, and he wasn’t sorry accordingly for
this stray chance of a diversion. “So Herr Will was there!” he repeated,
with a meaning smile, “What a singular coincidence! You’ve been seeing
too much altogether of Herr Will of late. I’m not a jealous man, but
mind you, Linnet, I draw a line somewhere.”
Linnet’s face was crimson. “It’s not _you_ who have had cause to feel
jealous,” she answered, quietly. “Herr Will is too good a man to act
. . . well, to act as you would do. You _know_ what you say or what you
hint at isn’t true. You’re put out because——”
“Because what?” Andreas asked, provokingly, as she broke off and
hesitated.
But Linnet brushed past him, and went up to her own room without
answering a word. She was too proud to finish the sentence she had
begun, “Because Philippina has given you up and married the American.”
She had known it all along—known it, and never minded. But she felt in
her heart the reason why; she had never loved Andreas, so how could she
be jealous of him? He had married her as a very sound investment; he had
never pretended to care for her at all in herself; and she, in turn, had
never pretended to care for him. But now, in an agony of remorse and
terror, she flung herself on her bed and, with white hands clasped,
besought Our Lady, with all the strength she possessed, to save her from
despising and hating her husband. She had never loved him, to be sure;
but to her, as a Catholic, marriage was a most holy sacrament of the
Church, and she must try to live up to it. She prayed, too, for strength
to love Will Deverill less—to forget him, to neglect him. Yet, even as
she prayed, she thought to herself ten thousand times over how different
it would all have been if she had married Will Deverill; how much she
would have loved him; how true at heart she would have been to him. All
heretic that he was, his image rose up between herself and Our Lady. She
wiped her brimming eyes, and, with sobs and entreaties, begged hard to
love him less, begged hard to be forgiven that she loved him now so
dearly.
Yet, even in her own distress, Linnet thought of Philippina. She prayed
hard, too, for Philippina. She begged Our Lady, with tears and sighs, to
soften the obdurate Archbishop’s heart, and make smooth for Philippina
the path to Paradise. For, in a way, she really liked that big, bouncing
alp-girl. Unlike as they were in mould, they both came from St Valentin;
Philippina was to Linnet the one tie she still possessed that bound her
in memory to the land of her birth—the land where her father and mother
lay dead, awaiting their souls’ return from the flames of purgatory.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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