Little Abe, or, the Bishop of Berry Brow: Being the Life of Abraham LockwoodJewell, F.
Religion
Little Abe, or, the Bishop of Berry Brow: Being the Life of Abraham Lockwood
Jewell, F.
Lockwood, Abraham, 1792-1871; Methodist Church -- Bishops -- England -- Biography
It was never more strikingly illustrated than in the case of Abraham
Lockwood. For a length of time after he had begun to attend
Sunday-school, there was a manifest difference in Abe's manner. Not
that he was really living a better life, for he was just as sinful as
before, only he was _not now thoughtless_; he might go to the ale-house
with his associates, but he went home to think about it after; he might
swear and laugh like the rest of them when they were together, but he
was no sooner alone than he felt the stings of a remorseful conscience;
he was gradually getting into that state when a man dreads to be alone
with himself; there was always something speaking to him from within,
and the voice was getting stronger and stronger every week, till
sometimes it fairly startled him, and made him afraid; often he would
try to run away from it, but it was of no use; the moment he stopped,
panting from the exertion, it was there again; many a time he tried to
deaden the voice in the deafening noise of the mill, but the more he
endeavoured to destroy it, by some mysterious contradiction, the more
intently he found himself listening for it; it spoilt all the pleasures
of sin by its presence; it was with him night and day; it followed him
in his sleep, and was waiting for him when he awoke; it made him
miserable. Poor Abe was _under conviction of sin_; he was tasting the
wormwood of a guilty conscience, than which nothing is more dreadful,
and nothing is more hopeful, because it is the bitter that oft worketh
itself sweet; it was so with Abe. While he was in this state of mind,
the Rev. David Stoner came to preach in the Wesleyan Chapel at
Almondbury. His fame drew many to hear him, and among the rest Abraham
Lockwood. He went partly out of curiosity, and partly in the hope of
getting relief to his mind; however, he only came away worse than
before; he was miserable, and it now began to show itself to his
companions. "Pain will out," like murder. "What's the matter, Abe?"
they would say to him. "Oh, nothing particular," he would reply. And
then among themselves they said, "Abe looks very queer, he's ill;" then
they tried to enliven him. "Come, cheer up, old boy, we'll have a
yarn." One would tell some droll tale, and another would say something
comical in order to make him laugh; and laugh he did, he must laugh; it
would never do to let those fellows know what was passing in his mind;
so he laughed loud as any of them, but what a laugh!--how empty and
hollow, how joyless and unreal, how unlike his former bursts of
feeling!--a got-up laugh, which shewed plainer than ever _something was
wrong_. Abe knew it, and he felt it was of no use trying any longer to
keep up a sham happiness, and all the time be in torments from a guilty
conscience; he therefore resolved to give up sin and lead a new life.
He probably was hastened to that decision by a remark which fell from
his father's lips; the old man had noticed for some time that Abe was
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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