Little Citizens: The Humours of School LifeKelly, Myra
General
Little Citizens: The Humours of School Life
Kelly, Myra
Short stories; Students -- New York (State) -- New York -- Fiction; United States -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"So my papa he writes a letter on my uncle how he could to pay that
thousen dollers. _Goes_ months. _Comes_ no thousen dollers. So my papa
he goes on the lawyer und the lawyer he writes on my uncle a letter how
he should to pay. _Goes_ months. _Comes_ no thousen dollers." At each
repetition of these fateful words Sadie shook her serious head, pursed
up her rosy mouth, folded her hands resignedly, and sighed deeply.
Clearly this was a tale more than twice told, for the voice and manner
of Sadie were as the voice and manner of Mrs. Lazarus Gonorowsky, and
the recital was plagiarism--masterly and complete.
"And then?" prompted Teacher, lest the conversation languish.
"Well, my papa writes some more a letter on mine uncle. Oh-o-oh, a
awful bossy-und-mad letter. All the mad words what my papa knows he
writes on mine uncle. Und my mamma she sets by my papa's side und all
the mad words what my mamma knows she tells on my papa und he writes
them, too, on mine uncle. Mine uncle (that's Eva's papa) could to have
a fierce mad sooner he seen that bossy letter. But _goes_ two days.
_Comes_ no thousen dollers."
Here ensued a long and dramatic pause.
"Well, comes no thousen dollers. Comes nothings. On'y by night my mamma
she puts me on my bed; when comes my uncle! He comes und makes a
knopping on our door. I couldn't to tell even how he makes knopping.
I had such a scare I was green on the face, und my heart was going so
you could to hear. I'm a nervous child, Missis Bailey, und my face is
all times green sooner I gets a scare."
This last observation was a triumph of mimicry, and recalled Mrs.
Gonorowsky so vividly as to make her atmosphere of garlic and old
furniture quite perceptible. "So my mamma hears how my uncle knopps
und says 'Lemme in--lemme in.' She says ('scuse me, Teacher)--she says
'he must be' ('scuse me) 'drunk.' That's how my mamma says.
"So goes my papa by the door und says 'Who stands?' Und my uncle he
says 'Lemme in.' So-o-oh my papa he opens the door. Stands my uncle mit
cheeky looks und he showed a fist on my papa. My papa has a fierce
mad sooner he seen that fist--fists is awful cheeky when somebody
ain't paid. So my papa he says ('scuse me)--it's fierce how he says,
on'y he had a mad over that fist. He says ('scuse me), 'Go to hell!'
und my uncle, what ain't paid that thousen dollers, he says just like
that to my papa. He says too ('scuse me, Teacher), 'Go to hell!' So-o-oh
then my papa hits my uncle (that's Eva's papa), und how my papa is
strong I couldn't to tell even. He pulls every morning by the
extrasizer, und he's got such a muscles! So he hits my uncle (that's
Eva's papa), und my uncle he fall und he fall und he fall--we live by
the third floor, und he fall off of the third floor by the street--und
even in falling he says like that ('scuse me, Teacher), 'Go to hell!
go to hell! go to hell!' Ain't it somethin' fierce how he says? On all
the steps he says, 'Go to hell! go to hell! go to hell!'"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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