Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
General
Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
American wit and humor
When he had concluded, he awaited a reply. There wasn't any reply; for
the bees had never gone near the bung-hole; they went in the same way
as he did, and made it very warm for him.
The lesson of this fable is that one cannot stick to his pure reason
while quarreling with bees.
AMBROSE BIERCE.
OLIVER WENDELL HOLMES
DISLIKES
I want it to be understood that I consider that a certain number of
persons are at liberty to dislike me peremptorily, without showing
cause, and that they give no offense whatever in so doing.
If I did not cheerfully acquiesce in this sentiment toward myself
on the part of others, I should not feel at liberty to indulge my
own aversions. I try to cultivate a Christian feeling to all my
fellow-creatures, but inasmuch as I must also respect truth and
honesty, I confess to myself a certain number of inalienable dislikes
and prejudices, some of which may possibly be shared by others. Some
of these are purely instinctive; for others I can assign a reason. Our
likes and dislikes play so important a part in the order of things that
it is well to see on what they are founded.
There are persons I meet occasionally who are too intelligent by half
for my liking. They know my thoughts beforehand, and tell me what I
was going to say. Of course they are masters of all my knowledge, and
a good deal besides; have read all the books I have read, and in later
editions; have had all the experiences I have been through,--and more,
too. In my private opinion, every mother's son of them will lie at any
time rather than confess ignorance.
I have a kind of dread, rather than hatred, of persons with a large
excess of vitality--great feeders, great laughers, great story-tellers,
who come sweeping over their company with a huge tidal wave of animal
spirits and boisterous merriment. I have pretty good spirits myself,
and enjoy a little mild pleasantry, but I am oppressed and extinguished
by these great lusty, noisy creatures, and feel as if I were a mute at
a funeral when they get into full blast.
I cannot get along much better with those drooping, languid people,
whose vitality falls short as much as that of the others is in excess.
I have not life enough for two; I wish I had. It is not very enlivening
to meet a fellow-creature whose expression and accents say, "You are
the hair that breaks the camel's back of my endurance; you are the last
drop that makes my cup of woe run over"; persons whose heads drop on
one side like those of toothless infants; whose voices recall the tones
in which our old snuffling choir used to wail out the verse of
"Life is the time to serve the Lord."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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