Well, we must be going our crowns to win, So open, St. Peter, and we'll pass in." St. Peter sat quiet and stroked his staff; But spite of his office he had to laugh; Then said with a fiery gleam in his eye, "Who's tending this gateway--you or I?" And then he arose in his stature tall, And pressed a button upon the wall, And said to the imp who answered the bell, "Escort this lady around to hell!" The man stood still as a piece of stone-- Stood sadly, gloomily there alone, A life-long, settled idea he had That his wife was good and he was bad. He thought if the woman went down below That he would certainly have to go-- That if she went to the regions dim There wasn't a ghost of a show for him. Slowly he turned, by habit bent, To follow wherever the woman went. St. Peter, standing on duty there, Observed that the top of his head was bare. He called the gentleman back and said, "Friend, how long have you been wed?" "Thirty years" (with a weary sigh), And then he thoughtfully added, "Why?" St. Peter was silent. With head bent down He raised his hand and scratched his crown; Then, seeming a different thought to take, Slowly, half to himself, he spake: "Thirty years with that woman there? No wonder the man hasn't any hair! Swearing is wicked, smoke's not good. He smoked and swore--I should think he would, Thirty years with that tongue so sharp! Ho, Angel Gabriel! Give him a harp! A jeweled harp with a golden string, Good sir, pass in where the angels sing! Gabriel, give him a seat alone-- One with a cushion, up near the throne; Call up some angels to play their best, Let him enjoy the music in rest, See that on finest ambrosia he feeds, He's had about all the hell he needs; It isn't just hardly the thing to do To roast him on earth and the future, too." They gave him a harp with golden strings, A glittering robe with a pair of wings, And he said, as he entered the Realm of Day, "Well, this beats cucumber, any way!" And so the Scriptures had come to pass "The last shall be first and the first shall be last." HENRY GUY CARLETON THE THOMPSON STREET POKER CLUB SOME CURIOUS POINTS IN THE NOBLE GAME UNFOLDED