Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
General
Little Masterpieces of American Wit and Humor, Volume II
American wit and humor
Three-quarters of an hour passed. The sunshine moved slowly up Anchor
Street, fingered noiselessly the well-kept brass knockers on either
side, and drained the heeltaps of dew which had been left from the
revels of the fairies overnight in the cups of the morning-glories.
Not a soul was stirring yet in this part of the town, though the
Rivermouthians are such early birds that not a worm may be said to
escape them. By and by one of the brown Holland shades at one of
the upper windows of the Bilkins Mansion--the house from which Miss
Margaret had emerged--was drawn up, and old Mr. Bilkins in spiral
nightcap looked out on the sunny street. Not a living creature was
to be seen save the dissipated family cat--a very Lovelace of a cat
that was not allowed a night-key--who was sitting on the curbstone
opposite, waiting for the hall door to open. Three-quarters of an hour,
we repeat, had passed, when Mrs. Margaret O'Rourke, _née_ Callaghan,
issued from the small, dingy house by the river and regained the
doorstep of the Bilkins Mansion in the same stealthy fashion in which
she had left it.
Not to prolong a mystery that must already oppress the reader,
Mr. Bilkins's cook had, after the manner of her kind, stolen
out of the premises before the family were up and got herself
married--surreptitiously and artfully married--as if matrimony were an
indictable offense.
And something of an offense it was in this instance. In the first
place, Margaret Callaghan had lived nearly twenty years with the
Bilkins family, and the old people--there were no children now--had
rewarded this long service by taking Margaret into their affections. It
was a piece of subtle ingratitude for her to marry without admitting
the worthy couple to her confidence.
In the next place, Margaret had married a man some eighteen years
younger than herself. That was the young man's lookout, you say. We
hold it was Margaret that was to blame. What does a young blade of
twenty-two know? Not half so much as he thinks he does. His exhaustless
ignorance at that age is a discovery which is left for him to make in
his prime.
"Curly gold locks cover foolish brains,
Billing and cooing is all your cheer;
Sighing and singing of midnight strains,
Under Bonnybell's window panes--
Wait till you come to Forty Year!"
In one sense Margaret's husband _had_ come to forty year--she was forty
to a day.
Mrs. Margaret O'Rourke, with the baddish cat following closely at
her heels, entered the Bilkins mansion, reached her chamber in the
attic without being intercepted, and there laid aside her finery. Two
or three times, while arranging her more humble attire, she paused
to take a look at the marriage certificate, which she had deposited
between the leaves of her prayer-book, and on each occasion held that
potent document upside down; for Margaret's literary culture was of the
severest order, and excluded the art of reading.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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