English fiction -- 20th century; Short stories, English
Not a day of my first kermesses passed without my going at least
once, and sometimes two or three times, to see the Figaros at their
performance; partly, no doubt, because, between the ages of nine and
thirteen, I was an extremely devout broad churchman, and partly because
the rôle of the Magdalene was played by a little girl of twelve or
thereabouts, with whom I fell in love, wildly, extravagantly, as one
only can love when one is a child. I would have given fortunes and
years of my life to have had the courage to go round to the back after
the performance and talk to her. But I did not dare; and to give an
intellectual justification for my cowardice, I assured myself that it
would have been unseemly on my part to intrude upon a privacy which I
invested with all the sacredness of the Magdalene’s public life, an
act of sacrilege like going into church with one’s hat on. Moreover, I
comforted myself, I should have profited little by meeting my inamorata
face to face, since in all likelihood she spoke nothing but Flemish,
and besides my own language I only spoke at that time a little French,
with enough Latin to know what my Uncle Spencer meant when he said,
“_Similia similibus curantur_.” My passion for the Magdalene lasted
through three kermesses, but waned, or rather suddenly came to an end,
when, rushing to the first of the Figaros’ performances at the fourth,
I saw that the little Magdalene, who was now getting on for sixteen,
had become, like so many young girls in their middle teens, plump and
moony almost to the point of grossness. And my love after falling to
zero in the theatre was turned to positive disgust when I saw her, a
couple of mornings later before the performance began, walking about
the Grand’ Place in a dark blue blouse with a sailor collar, a little
blue skirt down to her knees, and a pair of bright yellow boots lacing
high up on her full-blown calves, which they compressed so tightly
that the exuberant flesh overflowed on to the leather. The next year
one of old M. Figaro’s great-grandchildren, who could hardly have been
more than seven or eight, took her place on the stage. My Magdalene
had left it--to get married, no doubt. All the Figaros married early:
it was important that there should be no failure in the supply of
juvenile apostles and holy women. But by that time I had ceased to take
the slightest interest either in her, her family, or their sacred
performance; for it was about the time of my fifth kermesse, if I
remember rightly, that my period of atheism began--an atheism, however,
still combined with all my Uncle Spencer’s cheerful optimism about the
universe.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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