_A V. Oh_, da----! Say it’s George. And be quick, please. _Me_ (_after a good deal of unavoidable delay_). Hullo, George! _A V._ Hullo, Mortimer! You _have_ been a time! Look here--about this meeting: have you got your minutes ready yet? _Me._ Not quite. Practically. I was just doing them---- _A V._ Oh! Well, it’s like this: I’ve had a talk with Sir Donald and he thinks you’d better leave out that scene about Atkins and the Debentures. He thinks we might have trouble with the Manchester lot if you read that out, but if you don’t say anything about it they’ll never know---- _Me._ You dirty dog! _A V._ What’s that? _Me_ (_innocent_). I didn’t say anything. I think there’s someone on the line--(_in a brand-new voice_) Cuckoo! _A V._ (_indignant_). I say, Sir, do you mind getting off the line? Hullo! Hullo!... He’s gone now. Well, don’t forget that. So long, old man. Sorry you couldn’t come round the other night; I wanted you to meet my _fiancée_--you haven’t, have you? _Me._ Which one. _A V._ (_skittishly_). You old ass--Miss Tickle, of course. _Me.._ Oh, I know _her_. As a matter of fact I was engaged to her myself once--but that’s many years ago. _A V._ What’s that? You sound as if you’d got a cold. _Me._ I rather think I have. You always make such a draught down the telephone. Good-bye, old man. III _A Voice._ Is that the Box-Office? _Me._ Which Box-Office? _A V._ Is that the Paragon Theatre? _Me_. Yes, Madam. _A V._ Oh, have you two seats for next Thursday? _Me._ Yes, Madam. There is a stall in row D, and I have one seat left in the back row in the dress-circle--a _very_ good view of the stage, Madam. _A V._ Oh, but I want them _together_. _Me._ I’m afraid we never sell seats _together_, Madam. The Lord Chamberlain---- _A V._ Oh, but---- _Me._ May I ask why you want to see this play, Madam? _A V._ I can’t hear you.... Hullo! _Me._ I mean, between ourselves, it’s a thoroughly bad adaptation of a thoroughly bad foreign play thoroughly badly acted by a rotten lot of actors. _Letty Loo_ is perfectly awful, and there’s no room for your legs, unless you would care for a box, and there isn’t one if you would; so if I were you I should stay quietly at home with Henry. _Au revoir!_ IV _A Voice_ (_most important_). Hullo! Is that the Treasury? _Me_ (_sweetly feminine_). Treasury speaking. _A V._ (_as if the end of the world was in sight_). I want to speak to the Prime Minister’s Private Secretary. _Me._ The Prime Minister’s Private Secretary is engaged. I can put you through to the Whips’ Office. _A V._ (_angrily_). I don’t _want_ the Whips’ Office. I want---- _Me._ One moment, please. [_A good many moments pass._] _A V._ (_menacing_). Hullo! Hullo! _Hullo!_ _Me_ (_sweetly, as if conferring some priceless boon_). Put _three_ pennies in the slot and _turn_ the handle, please. _A V._ (_spluttering_). Look here, put me through to the supervisor at _once_. _Me_ (_very far off_). Supervisor speaking.