“In the course of my negotiations with the landlord, I incurred the displeasure of my master, who, discovering my policy, came into the kitchen, seized the first convenient instrument, and belabored me most unmercifully. He was, however, punished for his rashness, by the want of a cook for two weeks. “The scoundrels of the French were audacious enough to pay us a visit while we remained here. I was ordered out with the rest, but I kept at the greatest distance, lest any bullet should have mistaken me for some other person. No sooner did I receive the intelligence that the French were conquered, than I ran to the field of battle, brandishing my sword, and cutting and slashing among the dead men. It unfortunately happened, however, that, as I struck one of them with my sword, he uttered a mournful groan, and, apprehensive that he was about to revenge the injury done to him, I ran off with full speed, leaving my sword in his body. In passing along, I met with another sword, which saved my honor, as I vaunted that I had seized it from one in the field of battle. “While thus rambling through the field of blood and danger, my master was carried home mortally wounded, who called me a scoundrel, and cried, ‘Why did not you obey me?’ ‘Lest, sir,’ replied I, ‘I should have been as you now are.’ The good man soon breathed his last, leaving me a horse and fifty ducats. “Being again emancipated from the bonds of servitude, I began to enjoy life, and continued to treat all my acquaintance so long as my money would permit. The return of poverty, however, made me again enlist under the banners of servitude. “About this time a singular occurrence happened to me. I chanced to go out into the street, when my eyesight was so affected, that I could not discern black from green, nor white from gray. Observing the candles suspended in a candle-maker’s shop, and taking them for radishes, I thought there was no great harm though I should taste one of them. Accordingly, laying hold of one, down fell the whole row, and being dashed to pieces upon the floor, a scuffle ensued; I was taken into custody, and made to pay the damage, which operated to restore my sight to its natural state. “Not long after this adventure, I was assailed with love for the fair sex, and, after some sighs and presents, I was bound to a woman for better or for worse, and continued with her until the charms of the marriage state and the pleasures of domestic life began to pall upon me, and an ardent desire to return to my old course of adventure took possession of my mind. Towards the attainment of this desirable end, I one day kicked my wife out of doors, dressed myself, and prepared to sally forth. I had no sooner effected this liberation, than a tavern was my first resting-place to recruit my spirits and to redeem lost time.