Fantasy literature; London (England) -- Fiction; Witches -- Fiction; World War, 1914-1918 -- Fiction
"Tonk," she said. "Late of Mud Street. She has changed her address. I am
the Guild of Happy Hearts. She still comes to fetch her half-pint of
milk daily, and only yesterday I learnt from a neighbour that she had
left Mud Street three weeks ago. It really is disgraceful the way these
poor people conceal important facts from us. Have you her new address?"
"Our last address for Tonk was 12 Mud Street," answered Sarah Brown
coldly. "But we have already notified you three times that the woman is
not entitled to milk from the Happy Hearts, as she has been having
parish relief, as well as an allotment."
"Tonk is--hm--hm," said the Happy Heart delicately in an undertone, so
that the blushing masculine ear of the Dog David might be spared. "After
Baby Week, you know, we feel bound to help all hm--hm women as far as we
can, regardless of other considerations--"
"Really you oughtn't to. Tonk is posing as a single
chocolate-box-maker." Sarah Brown was rapidly becoming exasperated with
everybody concerned, but not least with the evidently camouflaging Tonk.
"She has a soldier at the Front," said the Happy Heart. "I am sorry to
say that she will not promise to marry him, even if he does come home.
But even so--"
Sarah Brown wrote down on Miss Tonk's card the small purple cipher that
stood for hm--hm. "I will make enquiries about her address," she said.
But that was not the last of Tonk. Presently the red face of the
Relieving Officer loomed over the index.
"In the case of Plummett--" he began loudly.
"In the case of Tonk--" interrupted Sarah Brown, to whom, in her present
mood, Plummett could only have been a last straw. She hated the
Relieving Officer unjustly, because he knew she was deaf and raised his
voice, with the best intentions, to such a degree that the case papers
on the index were occasionally blown away. "We have already notified you
three times that Tonk is having a half-pint of milk daily from the
Happy Hearts, as well as an allotment from a soldier."
"We stopped the groceries," roared the Relieving Officer. "But in the
case of Plummett--"
"In the case of Tonk--" persisted Sarah Brown. "She has moved from Mud
Street, can you tell me her last address?"
"She is living in a sort of private charitable institution, somewhere on
the outskirts of the district--Mitten Island, I fancy. I don't know the
exact address, because we have stopped the groceries, she paying no rent
now. In the case of Plummett, I thought you might be interested to know
that she got a month this morning for assaulting the Sanitary
Inspector--pulling his nose, I hear. She told the magistrate it struck
her as being a useless nose if it didn't notice anything wrong with her
drains. The children came into the House this morning."
"What is Tonk's Christian name?" asked Sarah Brown, who had been a
changed woman since Mitten Island was mentioned.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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