Liza of LambethMaugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
General
Liza of Lambeth
Maugham, W. Somerset (William Somerset)
Working class -- England -- Fiction
The faithful swain having finished, gave a long sigh, and said:
'Well, I could do with some more!'
'For the matter of thet, I could do with a gargle!'
Thus encouraged, the gallant returned to the bar, and soon brought out
a second pint.
'You 'ave fust pop,' amorously remarked Phyllis, and he took a long
drink and handed the pot to her.
She, with maiden modesty, turned it so as to have a different part to
drink from; but he remarked as he saw her:
'You are bloomin' particular.'
Then, unwilling to grieve him, she turned it back again and applied
her ruby lips to the place where his had been.
'Now we shan't be long!' she remarked, as she handed him back the pot.
The faithful swain took out of his pocket a short clay pipe, blew
through it, filled it, and began to smoke, while Phyllis sighed at the
thought of the cool liquid gliding down her throat, and with the
pleasing recollection gently stroked her stomach. Then Corydon spat,
and immediately his love said:
'I can spit farther than thet.'
'I bet yer yer can't.'
She tried, and did. He collected himself and spat again, further than
before, she followed him, and in this idyllic contest they remained
till the tootling horn warned them to take their places.
* * * * *
At last they reached Chingford, and here the horses were taken out and
the drag, on which they were to lunch, drawn up in a sheltered spot.
They were all rather hungry, but as it was not yet feeding-time, they
scattered to have drinks meanwhile. Liza and Tom, with Sally and her
young man, went off together to the nearest public-house, and as they
drank beer, Harry, who was a great sportsman, gave them a graphic
account of a prize-fight he had seen on the previous Saturday evening,
which had been rendered specially memorable by one man being so hurt
that he had died from the effects. It had evidently been a very fine
affair, and Harry said that several swells from the West End had been
present, and he related their ludicrous efforts to get in without
being seen by anyone, and their terror when someone to frighten them
called out 'Copper!' Then Tom and he entered into a discussion on the
subject of boxing, in which Tom, being a shy and undogmatic sort of
person, was entirely worsted. After this they strolled back to the
brake, and found things being prepared for luncheon; the hampers were
brought out and emptied, and the bottles of beer in great profusion
made many a thirsty mouth thirstier.
'Come along, lidies an' gentlemen--if you are gentlemen,' shouted the
coachman; 'the animals is now goin' ter be fed!'
'Garn awy,' answered somebody, 'we're not hanimals; we don't drink
water.'
'You're too clever,' remarked the coachman; 'I can see you've just
come from the board school.'
As the former speaker was a lady of quite mature appearance, the
remark was not without its little irony. The other man blew his horn
by way of grace, at which Liza called out to him:
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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