And why should it be that some souls should be more favored than
others? What had he, for instance, to do with his birth? He would not
have chosen shame, if shame there was. Yet shame or not he was branded
with it for life because his origin was enveloped in mystery. The
natural conclusion was that sin had had its part.
Then through the boy’s mind there tumbled a confusion of questions all
more or less unanswerable, in the midst of which he slept.
He seemed to have wandered out into the open again with the pines he
loved above him, and underneath the springy needles with their slippery
resinous softness; and he lay looking up into the changeless blue that
covered all the heights, asking all the tumultuous questions that
throbbed through his heart, asking them of God.
Silently the noises of the city slunk away and dropped into the
ceaseless calm of the southland he had left. The breeze fanned his
cheek, the pines whispered, and a rippling bird song touched his soul
with peace. A quietness came down upon his troubled spirit, and he was
satisfied to take the burden that had been laid him and to bear it
greatly. The peace was upon him when he awoke, far into the next
morning.
The hot June sun streamed into his stuffy room and fell aslant the bed.
He was sodden and heavy with the heat and the oppression of his
garments. His head ached, and he felt as nearly ill as he had ever felt
in his life. The spectre of the day before confronted him in all its
torturing baldness, but he faced it now and looked it squarely in the
eyes. It was not conquered yet, not by any means. The sharp pain of its
newness was just as great, and the deep conviction was still there that
it was because of wrong that this burden was laid upon him, but there
was an adjustment of his soul to the inevitable that there had not been
at first.
The boy lay still for a few minutes looking out upon a new life in
which everything had to be readjusted to the idea of himself and his
new limitations. Heretofore in his mind there had been no height that
was not his for the climbing. Now, the heights were his, but he would
not climb because the heights themselves might be marred by his
presence. It was wrong, it was unfair, that things should be so; but
they were so, and as long as Sin and Wrong were in the world they would
be so.
He must look upon life as he had looked upon every contest through his
education. There were always things to be borne, hard things, but that
only made the conquest greater. He must face this thing and win.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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