The light faded from his countenance as it had come; from his pallid
face the tide of life ebbed again; his eyes closed like a tired
child's; then, in an instant, he opened them again, and gazed at
Vanulm with an expression that the latter had never seen before.
"Good old Herman," he muttered drowsily, "I knew he'd come. Off my
head a minute, I guess. Feverish, maybe; that night did it, that night
it rained--"
He stopped, with an expression of complete bewilderment; once, twice
and thrice he gazed around the unfamiliar room; then drew a long sigh,
as if at last awakened from sleep.
"Herman," he said quietly, "God knows what rot I've been talking. I'm
pretty near gone; I know it; but whether I go off wandering again or
not, I'm sane now; as sane as you are; do you believe me?"
Vanulm nodded silently. It took no eye of experience, indeed, to see
that the sands of life were running low.
"There's something more you want to say?" he asked, with sudden
intuition.
Gordon spoke with ineffable sadness. "Herman," he said, his voice
scarcely raised above a whisper, "I've made a horrible mess of things.
I know it now. If only--" his voice faltered--"if only I could go back
to that day on the island with Rose. I can remember so well. 'A
cottage in the country,' she said, 'with you all to myself.' Herman, I
didn't know it then, but that day I shut myself out of Paradise. That
day was the parting of the ways. And since then it's been down and
down and down--Palmer, and poor Annie Holton, and old Jim and Rose,
and I ruined May Sinclair's life, and I ruined poor Jack's--and
Hinckley--poor fool--he had as good a right to live as I--Ah! God!
Herman, what I've got is turned to ashes. Gold--Love bought for
gold--Power bought for gold--all Gold. Everything--and Nothing! And I
could have had friends--money enough to live on--and a woman who loved
me. Think, Herman--" and his voice sank very low--"a woman who loved
me, and, after all, that is life."
His voice died away. There was a long silence. Outside, the wind
stirred gently the clambering vines, and a ray of sunlight darted,
questing, into the quiet room. The sick man turned his head, and his
voice was very low. "And after that, Herman," he said, "a good friend;
the friend you've always been to me; the kind of a friend I might have
been to you."
Again fell silence. Once outside a song-sparrow sang sweet and clear
his brave little song, and the sick man smiled. At last he turned his
head, and with a great effort raised his hand until it touched
Vanulm's. "Good-by, Herman," he said.
And then, over the quiet of the peaceful afternoon came a change,
sudden, terrible. Before Vanulm could stir, the sick man dashed aside
his coverings and raised himself bolt upright in the bed, his eyes
burning, his face working convulsively, his whole expression that of a
man who looks upon a sight of horror. "I've lost!" he shrieked, in a
terrible voice. "Oh, God, I've lost!"
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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