"Everything in the world," so ran her thoughts, "everything to make a
girl happy." Her bluff, soldierly father, masterful enough with
others, but tenderness itself to her; her mother, kind, loving,
watchful, ever apprehensive lest some harm might befall her; her home;
her friends; her work at the settlement; her wealth, prized not for
itself, but for the use she could make of it for others; last of
all--and she smiled at her own self-deceit, knowing that she had
purposely kept it to the last that she might be free to dream on and
on without interruption--last of all, her lover and the thought of
their wedding-day, now distant but one short month.
The clock struck nine. Momentarily she wondered what might be keeping
him, and then the spell of the future, insistent, not to be denied,
drew her on and on, and again she was lost in fancy's realm. She could
picture the wedding ceremony in the big church on the avenue, and at
the thought of the ordeal she shivered a little, half in pleasure and
half in fear. Then the honeymoon--and here she gave a sigh of utter
rapture--for with all her dreams of working and doing for others, she
was but human. To think of it! Six months abroad! England, France,
Italy, Switzerland, and all with Harry alone to herself. To think of
it; and she blushed and laughed as she found herself wishing that the
month would hasten swiftly by. Then the return, to find herself
mistress of Harry's mansion, hostess to all of his friends, sole ruler
over all the vast domain of housewifery. So much they had to do! How
could they find time for it all, for it was not to be all
entertainment and fun? She must keep on with her reading and her
studying, and she must make Harry more interested in such things, so
that they could feel that they were doing everything together. Then
there was the settlement work. Her clubs and classes--those must be
kept up--for of what use were learning and culture and refinement if
they could not in some manner be used for those less favored by
fortune than herself? Here was the only real difference of opinion
between them. Strive as she would, she could not manage to interest
Harry in her cases at the Settlement House. He would escort her there,
and call for her again, but to get him inside the door, for that even
her skill would not suffice. That, however, would doubtless be somehow
arranged. There could be no disagreement between people who loved each
other as she and Harry did. What a busy life they were going to have.
And then, some day, she supposed, she hoped, and her pure heart leaped
with joy at the thought, there would be babies to love and care for,--
she closed her eyes and for one rapt instant strove to pierce the
veil, to gaze upon the deep, strong, mighty current of life, flowing
steadily, swiftly, resistlessly--who knew whither? Face to face in
that one tense moment she looked upon all the mystery of existence,
the Sphinx's riddle, the problem of the ages, huge, illimitable,
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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