Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
And so was it with him. His passions were
powerful, and had been ungoverned. He writhed beneath the dominion of
_sameness_; and tranquillity, allied to loneliness, possessed no charms.
He groaned beneath the chains that fettered him to the spot, where he
was withering in inaction. They caused unutterable throes and paroxysms
of despair. Ennui, the dæmon, waited at the threshold of his noiseless
refuge, and drove away the stirring hopes and enlivening expectations,
which form the better part of life. Sensibility in such a situation is a
curse: men become "cannibals of their own hearts;" remorse, regret, and
restless impatience usurp the place of more wholesome feeling: every
thing seems better than that which is; and solitude becomes a sort of
tangible enemy, the more dangerous, because it dwells within the citadel
itself. Borne down by such emotions, Fitzhenry was often about to yield
to the yearnings of his soul, and to fly from repose into action,
however accompanied by strife and wretchedness; to leave America, to
return to Europe, and to face at once all the evils which he had
journeyed so far to escape. He did not--he remained. His motives for
flight returned on him with full power after any such paroxysm, and held
him back. He despised himself for his hesitation. He had made his
choice, and would abide by it. He was not so devoid of manliness as to
be destitute of fortitude, or so dependent a wretch as not to have
resources in himself. He would cultivate these, and obtain that peace
which it had been his boast that he should experience.
It came at last. Time and custom accomplished their task, and he became
reconciled to his present mode of existence. He grew to love his home in
the wilderness. It was all his own creation, and the pains and thought
he continued to bestow upon it, rendered it doubly his. The murmur of
the neighbouring river became the voice of a friend; it welcomed him on
his return from any expedition; and he hailed the first echo of it that
struck upon his ear from afar, with a thrill of joy.
Peace descended upon his soul. He became enamoured of the independence
of solitude, and the sublime operations of surrounding nature. All
further attempts at cultivation having ceased in his neighbourhood, from
year to year nothing changed, except at the bidding of the months, in
obedience to the varying seasons;--nothing changed, except that the moss
grew thicker and greener upon the logs that supported his roof, that the
plants he cultivated increased in strength and beauty, and that the
fruit-trees yielded their sweet produce in greater abundance. The
improvements he had set on foot displayed in their progress the taste
and ingenuity of their projector; and as the landscape became more
familiar, so did a thousand associations twine themselves with its
varied appearances, till the forests and glades became as friends and
companions.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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