Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
He did not know himself how much he loved her, till she became old
enough to share his excursions and be a companion. This occurred at a
far earlier age than would have been the case had she been in England,
living in a nursery with other children. There is a peculiarity in the
education of a daughter, brought up by a father only, which tends to
develop early a thousand of those portions of mind, which are folded up,
and often destroyed, under mere feminine tuition. He made her fearless,
by making her the associate of his rides; yet his incessant care and
watchfulness, the observant tenderness of his manner, almost reverential
on many points, springing from the differences of sex, tended to soften
her mind, and make her spirit ductile and dependent. He taught her to
scorn pain, but to shrink with excessive timidity from any thing that
intrenched on the barrier of womanly reserve which he raised about her.
Nothing was dreaded, indeed, by her, except his disapprobation; and a
word or look from him made her, with all her childish vivacity and
thoughtlessness, turn as with a silken string, and bend at once to his
will.
There was an affectionateness of disposition kneaded up in the very
texture of her soul, which gave it its "very form and pressure." It
accompanied every word and action; it revealed itself in her voice, and
hung like light over the expression of her countenance.
Her earliest feeling was love of her father. She would sit to watch him,
guess at his thoughts, and creep close, or recede away, as she read
encouragement, or the contrary, in his eyes and gestures. Except him,
her only companion was her servant; and very soon she distinguished
between them, and felt proud and elate when she quitted her for her
father's side. Soon, she almost never quitted it. Her gentle and docile
disposition rendered her unobtrusive, while her inexhaustible spirits
were a source of delightful amusement. The goodness of her heart
endeared her still more; and when it was called forth by any demand made
on it by him, it was attended by such a display of excessive
sensibility, as at once caused him to tremble for her future happiness,
and love her ten thousand times more. She grew into the image on which
his eye doated, and for whose presence his heart perpetually yearned.
Was he reading, or otherwise occupied, he was restless, if yet she were
not in the room; and she would remain in silence for hours, occupied by
some little feminine work, and all the while watching him, catching his
first glance towards her, and obeying the expression of his countenance,
before he could form his wish into words. When he left her for any of
his longer excursions, her little heart would heave, and almost burst
with sorrow. On his return, she was always on the watch to see, to fly
into his arms, and to load him with infantine caresses.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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