Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
The haughty, the firm, the self-exalting soul of Cornelia had borne up
long. She had often felt that she walked on the borders of a precipice,
and that if once she admitted sentiments of regret, she should plunge
without retrieve into a gulph, dark, portentous, inextricable. She had
often repeated to herself that fate should not vanquish her, and that in
spite of despair she would be happy: it is true that the misery
occasioned by Saville's marriage was a canker at her heart, for which
there was no cure, but she had recourse to dissipation that she might
endeavour to forget it. A sad and ineffectual remedy. She was surrounded
by admirers, whom she disdained, and by friends to whom she would have
died rather than betray the naked misery of her soul. She had never
planned nor thought of marriage. The report concerning the Earl of
D----was one of those which the world always makes current, when two
persons of opposite sexes are, by any chance, thrown much together. His
sister was Lady Lodore's friend, and she had chaperoned her, and been of
assistance to her, during the courtship of the gentleman who was at
present her husband. It was their house that Lady Lodore had just
quitted on arriving in town. The new-born happiness of early wedded life
had been a scene to call her back to thoughts which were the sources of
the bitterest anguish. She abhorred herself that she could envy, that
she could desire to exchange places with, any created being. She
abridged her visit, and fancied that she should regain peace in the
independence of her own home. But the enjoyment of liberty was cold in
her heart, and loneliness added a freezing chilliness to her feeling.
The mind of Cornelia was much above the world she lived in, though she
had sacrificed all to it; and, so to speak, much above herself. Take
pride from her, and there was understanding, magnanimity, and great
kindliness of disposition: but pride had been the wall of China to shut
up all her better qualities, and to keep them from communicating with
the world beyond;--pride, which grew strong by resistance, and towered
above every aggressor;--pride, which crumbled away, when time and change
were its sole assailants, till her inner being was left unprotected and
bare.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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