Women -- Social conditions -- 19th century -- Fiction
Lady Lodore dressed to dine out, and for an evening assembly. She looked so
radiant and so beautiful, that admiration and compliments were showered
upon her. How vain and paltry they all seemed; and yet her feelings were
wholly changed from that period, when she desired to reject and scoff at
the courtesy of her fellow-creatures. The bitterness of spirit was gone,
which had prompted her to pour out gall and sarcasm, and had made it her
greatest pleasure to revel in the contempt and hate that filled her
bosom towards herself and others. She was now at peace with the world,
and disposed to view its follies charitably. Yet how immeasurably
superior she felt herself to all those around her! not through vanity or
supercilious egotism, but from the natural spring of inward joy and
self-approbation, which a consciousness of doing well opened in her
before dried-up heart. She somewhat contemned her friends, and wholly
pitied them. But she could not dwell on any disagreeable sentiment. Her
thoughts, while she reverted to the circumstances that so changed their
tenor, were stained with the fairest hues, harmonized by the most
delicious music. She had risen to a sphere above, beyond the ordinary
soarings of mortals--a world without a cloud, without one ungenial
breath. She wondered at herself. She looked back with mingled horror and
surprise on the miserable state of despondence to which she had been
reduced. Where were now her regrets?--where her ennui, her repinings,
her despair? "In the deep bosom of the ocean buried!"--and she arose, as
from a second birth, to new hopes, new prospects, new feelings; or
rather to another state of being, which had no affinity to the former.
For poverty was now her pursuit, obscurity her desire, ruin her hope;
and she smiled on, and beckoned to these, as if life possessed no
greater blessings.
Her impetuosity and pride served to sustain the high tone of her soul.
She had none of that sloth of purpose, or weakness of feeling, that
leads to hesitation and regret. To resolve with her had been, during the
whole course of her life, to do; and what her mind was set upon she
accomplished--it might be rashly, but still with that independence and
energy, that gave dignity even to her more ambiguous actions. As before,
when she cast off Lodore, she had never admitted a doubt that she was
justified before God and her conscience for refusing to submit to the
most insulting tyranny; so now, believing that she had acted ill in not
demanding the guardianship of her daughter, and resolving to atone for
the evils which were the consequence of this neglect of duty on her
part, she had no misgivings as to the future, but rushed precipitately
onwards. As a racer at the Olympic games, she panted to arrive at the
goal, though it were only to expire at the moment of its attainment.
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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