London Lavender : $b An entertainmentLucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
General
London Lavender : $b An entertainment
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Humorous stories; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
"Wouldn't do for the missis to see too much of this," he said.
"Women don't understand it. She's a brick, my missis, but, bless
your heart, she'd carry on a treat if she found me and Barbara like
this. The rum thing," he went on, "is that Barbara's a woman too.
In fact, you can't be long in these Gardens without finding out how
much alike we all are--us and them. As for babies, why, they ought
to be here; and lots of grown-up people too. Makes you think a bit,
you know." He lowered his voice. "It makes you think too much,
almost. What I ask myself is this, What is a soul? Because, here's
Barbara, here, hasn't got one, and I have; and as far as I can see,
the only difference between us, after clothes, is that she can't talk
and I can. But knowing! there's nothing she doesn't know and nothing
she doesn't feel. She's as understanding as a Christian and much
more affectionate than many of them. What I ask myself sometimes is,
Why is Barbara in a cage and all these people out and about? or, Why
aren't I in a cage and Barbara paying a bob to see me? It wants a
bit of thinking. It isn't enough just to say, Because I'm a man and
Barbara's an ourang-outang; because, who was it called me a man and
Barbara an ourang-outang? Why, man did. That is to say, it's all
going his way. But what do you suppose ourang-outangs call us? Ah!
Suppose"--he lowered his voice to a whisper--"suppose ourang-outangs
call themselves men and us apes! Wouldn't that be terrible? But
nobody knows. Not even Dr. Chalmers Mitchell knows."
Barbara meanwhile sat absolutely motionless save that her eyes roved
and her great jaws worked a little. It was enough for her that she
was in Mr. Wiles's arms and he in hers.
"Look at her now," Mr. Wiles continued; "she's taking it all in. She
knows what I'm saying. And another thing. The best in the land come
to see her. The King and Queen are often here. Great scholars come,
artists, authors. And they all make a fuss of her such as they
wouldn't make of any human being outside their own families, and not
them often. That's odd, isn't it? Makes you think there's something
more in apes than you bargained for.
"The trouble is," he went on, "they're so delicate, ourang-outangs,
and so are chimpanzees; in fact, all the larger apes. First it's
bronchitis and then it's pneumonia. I've had so many pass through my
hands--all dead now. Barbara's doing fairly well, but I dread the
winter. I dare say you've heard of the famous performing
chimpanzee--Consul? Seen him, perhaps? It might surprise you to
know that there have been twenty-six Consuls since he first appeared.
The public think it's the original one, but it's not. Twenty-six."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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