London Lavender : $b An entertainmentLucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
General
London Lavender : $b An entertainment
Lucas, E. V. (Edward Verrall)
Humorous stories; London (England) -- Social life and customs -- 20th century -- Fiction
_Mary._ "Pretty well; indeed, I darsna fly into them passions; the
doctor says it'll be present death if I do. Mine is the white
passions as drives the blood hinwards and causes bad palpulation at
the heart. Mr. Walker, the doctor, come in one day just as I'd
knocked John back'ards at the door for coming in with dirty shoes
just when I'd been two hours on my hands and knees cleaning the
floor; but, you know, Miss A., a hot temper is naterally grounded in
me. My mother had a hawful temper; I've seen her empty a shovel full
of hot ashes on my father's head. Now, I won't say but what I've
thrown a ash or two at John, but they've been could 'uns; and one day
my mother snatched up a gown as I had been buying for myself, and put
it on the fire, and her said, 'There now, and next time I'll put you
on the fire too, if you buy finery without my jurydiction.' Eh! how
I cried when I see'd them beautiful pink and yallow stripes kindling;
but her was a good mother at the root for all her was so strict; and
when I sees girls nowadays fithered and flounced up, and pomped out
so as when they comes swelling along one's obliged to get out o' the
road, I often thinks to myself, it's a pity there's not some mothers
in Bewley like mine. John often says to me, 'Thou'rt the very model
of thy mother, Mary, temper and all.' 'Yes, John,' says I, 'and
didn't her warn thee that I'd a foul temper; and didn't thee say,
like a big fool, "I wull have her, temper and all." Thou conceitedst
thou couldst master me, but thou hast larnt different.' 'I have
that,' said John. He often fetches texes out of Scripture about
women doing their juties, to clench me with, and he knows it taks me
a long time to pick out a tex to clench him with. There was no
natteral schools whin I was yong."
The next year:
_Mary._ "I hope you're better of the lombagger, Miss A. John had it
wunst, and he was cured with some stuff he got gracious from Doctor
Woods; it was uncommon strong, for he could feel it playing back'ards
and forrards about his heart afore it went down. John's mother is
dead at last, but she lay a long while; you know sick folks canna go
hoff unless they're kept nice and clean; I'll be bound her'd have
died a deal sooner if I'd had the tending of heir, because I should
always have been fettling and washing of her. For all her'd been so
wicked, her died like a good 'un, and said her was going to Glory;
but I'm partly of your opinyan, Miss A., that according as folks
live, so they'll die."
So much for Mary Powell. Now for Anne Williams:
_Miss A._ "I think you seem as cheerful as ever."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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