London's Heart: A NovelFarjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
General
London's Heart: A Novel
Farjeon, B. L. (Benjamin Leopold)
London (England) -- Fiction
talk to? So old a friend too; so old a friend! I should have gone mad
without it many a time. I'll take one drop--just one little drop. But
she mustn't know--she mustn't know." Looking round warily, he, swiftly
and with a secret air, drained the glass, and immediately afterwards
endeavoured to assume an unconsciousness that he had broken his
promise and his oath. But although presently he took a second draught
in the same secret manner, it was evident that he could not quite
satisfy his conscience, for he pushed the empty glass from him,
retaining the bottle in his hand. "What made me buy it? I didn't
intend to, and didn't intend to pass the public house; but I got there
somehow, and I couldn't resist going in. It seemed to draw me to it.
But it'll be my ruin, my ruin, my ruin! The governor said it would,
and it will." As he sat there, battling with himself, his deeply-lined
face and his thin hair straggling over his forehead, did he have no
ambition, no aspiration, no hope, outside the walls of brick which
formed his home? This Lizzie of whom he spoke was, according to his
own showing, not an old friend. Had he any other link of love, or had
other human affection quite died out of his life? It was hard to tell.
It seemed that, but for this girl, to whom he was not linked by ties
of blood, his life was colourless, purposeless. But every living
breast contains a smouldering fire, and even to this old man, wreck as
he was, a spark might come to kindle once more into a flame the fire
that must have burned when he was young. Supposing him to have been
bright and handsome in his youth--as he must have been, despite his
worn and almost hopeless face--how, could he have seen it, would he
have received a vision of the future which showed him truthfully what
he was to be in years to come? A vision of some sort was upon him now,
as, sitting with no purpose in his mind, he fell into a doze. From
which, after the lapse of a few moments, which seemed to him hours, he
awoke with a bewildered air, and looked about him, and listened
wonderingly for voices which he might have heard in his dream, or as
if the dead past had cast up its ghosts, and he had seen them. He saw
something more tangible as he raised his eyes to the door, and
recognised his governor, Mr. David Sheldrake. The bottle was still in
Muzzy's hand, and he tried to put it out of sight as he rose to
welcome his most unexpected visitor.
"Surprised to see me, eh, Muzzy!" exclaimed Mr. Sheldrake, in an easy
tone.
"You're welcome, sir, you're welcome," said Muzzy, his looks
contradicting his words. "Anything wrong, sir?"
"No, old man, don't be alarmed; there's nothing wrong."
Public-domain text, read in full here on John Shaqi.
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